Posts Tagged ‘autism’
My Daughter’s 18th Christmas
This is Casadee’s 18th Christmas. I still make her a calendar every year so she can count down the days and quite honestly to reduce the number of times she asks me “Christmas tomorrow?” This year her number gift request is a desktop computer. She is typical in that regard, like most teens the price of the present goes up. This year I can use her newly awarded SSI money to purchase it. She doesn’t read or write but she has been using computers at school for as long as…
Read MoreBeing Social Isn’t As Easy As We Make It Look
I take notice of every body of water now. Every stream, every river, every pond, and every lake. I’ll count the 5 gallon buckets that sit unattended in your yard, filled with rain water. I know exactly where your dogs water bowl is. I’ll shut your bathroom doors, and make sure you didn’t forget to drain your bath water. I see every candle. I panic when we come over and they are lit. I’ll feel badly when I ask you to blow them out, and set them up. I pray…
Read More‘TIS THE SEASON
As I reflect just on the last year alone, the holiday season for us has been so drastically different. Last year at Thanksgiving Caleb was almost 3.5 and we were hyper aware of the holiday festivities being newly diagnosed. We’d researched how to prepare him and considered all of the recommendations. We opted out of going to see family for both Thanksgiving and rather had family over, hoping Caleb would be better off in his own home if we had to be around people we didn’t see too much throughout…
Read MoreThe Truth About Autism
Autism. You may have heard that word a few times before; although it may not mean that much to you. It probably doesn’t stop you in your tracks when you hear it. It probably doesn’t make your heart drop to your stomach when someone is talking about it. It probably doesn’t relate to you in anyway at all. But to me, it is such a heavy word. It’s a word I will have to carry around on my shoulders for the rest of my life. You see, I have two…
Read MoreFeeling Blue at Christmas
I started decorating in November and finished shopping the first week of December. I was so excited for this year because my little dude finally understands Christmas. For the first time in almost 6 years, he told Santa what he wanted. It was all going so well and I was so hopeful. I even was able to snap a couple family photos with my phone for our Christmas card. It meant the world to me to just have one…even if it wasn’t perfect. I just wanted one of us together. …
Read MoreWhat Word Describes you in 2019?
Here we are in the last month of 2019. Wow! Where did the year go? While doing a late-night Facebook scroll, I read a post from a lovely neighbor that read “what will be the word that describes you in 2019?” I thought about that intently. I am different than I was one year ago. Forever changed by one word. Acceptance. I have a horrible memory and often times can’t even remember why I opened the fridge! Although, there are moments over this past year that have been ingrained…
Read MoreI’ll Try Harder to be Better
I haven’t been the best wife, daughter, friend, mom to you and…I’m sorry. You see, today my son’s therapist mentioned she noticed him biting his hand. ‘Self injuring’ was the exact term she used, and he did it five times within their three hour session. She told me to ‘keep an eye on it’ and to notify her if ‘the behaviors worsened’. That’s been on my mind all afternoon. Retracing every step leading up to every ‘behavior’. Wondering what could have set him off… Wondering what we could do differently tomorrow…
Read MoreHe’s Safe Mama
I was rushing to get out of the house. Helping Cooper with his shoes and wrestling the baby into his jacket. Filling up a bottle and grabbing snacks and drinks. Making sure the diaper bag was stocked and that I looked halfway presentable. You know, doing all of the things. Cooper was nonverbally letting me know that he was going to bring all hundred of his treasures. Sawyer was asking me for a bag because he wanted to bring his rollerblades to a place that didn’t allow rollerblades. The baby…
Read MoreStop Asking Women When They Are Having Another Baby
I have two amazing sons. My heart feels complete. No, I don’t want to try for a girl. No, I won’t change my mind in a few years. Some questions sit a little differently after you have a child on the spectrum. This one, really raises my blood pressure. I have always wanted 2 children, I thought I would have 1 boy and 1 girl and life would be complete. I had 2 boys, almost SIX years apart. My 2nd has Autism. I knew from the time he was a…
Read MoreWhat Are You Thinking Allowing Him To Wear A Dress
We sat on the couch in his living room. I hadn’t seen him in ages, so I was trying to catch him up on our life. I showed him photo after photo of our family. Sawyer hitting a baseball off a tee in the backyard. Cooper splashing in a pool. Sawyer holding his fishing pole. Jamie and I drinking beers at a baseball game. Sawyer and his cousin playing dress up. He was smiling and laughing but stopped suddenly. It’s been a while, years and years since this happened,…
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