What Word Describes you in 2019?

Here we are in the last month of 2019.  Wow! Where did the year go?   

While doing a late-night Facebook scroll, I read a post from a lovely neighbor that read “what will be the word that describes you in 2019?” 

I thought about that intently. 

I am different than I was one year ago.  Forever changed by one word.

Acceptance.

I have a horrible memory and often times can’t even remember why I opened the fridge!

Although, there are moments over this past year that have been ingrained in me and I will never forget them.  

The moment I took my 2 sons to the library to play last winter.  There was another little boy the same age as Casey there playing. 

I was casually chit chatting with his mom. Asking her how old he was and when was his birthday.  

He and Casey happened to be a few days apart. That surprised me.

Why was her son doing all these things that Casey was not?

Why was he playing with my older son, Riley and laughing and talking? 

Why was Casey lining up all of the animal figures and intently staring at the airplane propeller? Why won’t Casey join them in play?

I remember my heart started racing and I felt my stomach was in knots.  As soon as we got into the car I burst into tears.  

The moment I decided to have Casey tested for ASD only to learn what a long and tedious process it would be.  

The moment I learned that the wait list could be up to a year to have him tested. 

The moment I received the letter from our insurance company that read in bold letters NO AUTISM COVERAGE. 

The moment we finally took Casey for testing. 

The moment we received Casey’s ASD diagnosis.  There it was in writing confirming what I had known since he was 10 months old. 

The moment I felt defeated and would cry at night and whenever I was in my car. 

The moment I took Casey to the grocery store only for him to have a total meltdown that the blue cart was not available, as I was sweating profusely trying to get him off the parking lot ground. 

The moment I would stay awake most the night reading every book, article, and blog.  I would re-watch you-tube videos and listen to every podcast I could find on autism. 

The moment I hit my worst and my husband picked me up physically and emotionally.  I remember his words, “everyone is on a path. His path is more interesting. I like his path.”

The moment I realized my husband was right. This path is more interesting.

The moment I went to our church, lit a candle, and prayed on my hands and knees for God to guide us as we raise a child with special needs. 

The moment Casey started speech therapy.

The moment Casey started occupational therapy.

The moment my husband called me with the news he was hired at a new job, which would have health insurance coverage that covered autism services.

The moment Casey started ABA.

The moment where Casey started to wake up to the world around him and tell me the things that he is noticing. 

The moment where Casey is playing, laughing, and wrestling with his older brother Riley. 

The moment where Casey tells me he loves me and hugs me.

The moment I met the teachers, paraprofessionals, speech therapists, occupational therapists, behavioral therapists and techs, and parents of other special needs children and realize how truly wonderful this community is. 

I’m so grateful and honored to know these people who have dedicated their lives to help families like ours. This is our village. 

The moment when I made a promise to myself to ALWAYS include, accept, advocate, and educate for all people with special needs.  

The moment when I accepted that my son is exactly who he is supposed to be, and he is teaching me to be the person that I am supposed to be.

Written by, Julie Sedick

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