Posts Tagged ‘autism mom’
Is That What You Want?
I just received a phone call from the office that my son’s doctor referred us to for an autism evaluation. I expected they would be calling soon to schedule an appointment. What I didn’t expect was what actually took place on the phone. I just sat there like an idiot, not even sure what to say. *Ring Ring Me: Hello Her: Hi, is this Mrs. Foster? Me: Yes it is. Her: I’m calling from (insert office name here). We received a referral for your son for autism testing. (quiet pause)…
Read MoreTo the Mom who is Trying to Figure out who She is After Special Needs:
I thought I would be a boy mom. A baseball mom. A hockey mom. A social mom. A mom with a lot of friends. A cool mom. A successful mom. Autism challenged every one of those titles for me. I am brave enough to say that. The role of special needs mom overpowered it all. It turned my whole world completely upside down. And inside out. And backwards. It demanded I slow down. And move faster at the same time. It demanded I speak out and yet learn to hold…
Read MoreI Don’t Know How You Do It
I don’t know how you do it. Those seven words grate on my very last nerve. What do you mean how do I do it? Isn’t that what a parent is supposed to do? Isn’t that our #1 job? When I entered this parental world, I never imagined it would be like this. I never knew such a deep love and sadness all wrapped in to one. I never knew Autism. Autism knows no bounds. It ravishes your life piece by piece. Autism takes away so much. It takes away…
Read MoreA Letter to Myself, an Autism Mommy
Dear Me, I’m sorry I never think you do enough. You go to bed exhausted. Sleep restlessly throughout the night. In between the 3 A.M. googling and night awakenings from you child, you still dream. I’m sorry you still dream. It’s never the exact dream, but that pain in your heart feels the exact same. Your nonverbal child said, “Mom…” “…I love you…” “…I’m good.” Or worse, your child has a whole conversation with you, as if their voice has always been there. Then your tired eyes open. You try to…
Read MoreI’m Living his Life Now
As I start my fourth year as an Autism parent, I’m finding that my relationships with others are changing. I have worked so hard the last three years to make it all work, to make all the events and to try to still be a “typical” Mom but I’m not. I actually enjoy following my kids routine. It’s my routine too. I’m just like him, I don’t like the unknown or a change in plans. When we are out on a family outing, I’ve been on edge the whole time…
Read MoreThe Big Elephant in the Room
Recently, my son Stalen and I were getting groceries. The cashier was super nice and began talking to me as she scanned our stuff. She also tried to strike up a conversation with Stalen. When he didn’t respond to her she asked me if he was shy. I quickly told her that he has autism and is non-verbal. She asked, “will he ever talk”? I felt myself cringe and I could feel the lady in line behind me leaning in. It wasn’t the question that bothered me, it was the…
Read MoreAin’t Nobody Got Time for Drama when You’re an Autism Mama
When I received a private message today from a sweet autism mama, my heart sank. She was leaving her support group because of drama between her and some moms in the group who had been her best friends. I knew this decision didn’t come lightly. I knew her eyes were bloodshot from nights wasted worrying about the right thing to do, wondering how this situation got so far out of control, and feeling betrayed by the very people who were her lifelines for so many years in early autism. Her…
Read MoreDear Family, Friends, and Even Strangers
Thank you. Thank you for pouring positivity into my life. Thank you for the kind words. Thank you for trying to supply me with hope. On my days when I post, comment, or even mention in conversation how I long for normalcy and desire making memories often associated with raising children, I know you mean well when you reply stating how happy my son is and offer the encouraging words of “Don’t worry about what others do! Just enjoy making memories and special moments with your little family!” I know…
Read MoreI Never Knew Being a Mother Would be so Hard for Me
I always wanted to be a mom. Heck, I think I played babies and house until I was a tween. After that it was babysitting. And then working with kids in college. Thankfully, I was blessed with three beautiful boys. They are loud, wild, healthy and each perfectly exhausting in their own way. I am the lucky one. I know that. But three kids is a lot. Working, running a house, a baby, breastfeeding, cooking, cleaning, and so on. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love being a mom.…
Read MoreAn Autism Mom’s Perspective on 20 Years
Twenty years…How can it be two decades since you came into this world with a hail storm in June? No kidding. On June 4, 1999 my sweet Jake was making his debut into this world unremarkable, when somewhere around 4:15pm, the sky got dark, and as everyone in the room noticed began to peer out the window, a hail storm came, with thunder and lightening… Then, the sun came out, and minutes later you were born…my sweet, Jake Timothy Helms was born, 4:40pm 9 lbs 3 oz.. On that very…
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