Sometimes I Forget

Sometimes I forget that my daughter has autism. This may sound strange because of all the private therapies we do, the targeted activities at home to encourage her development, her specialized preschool, and more. It is as if our whole world revolves around autism, and yet the autism fades because all we see is our daughter. Sometimes I Forget She is Behind Ruby has been doing so well with her school and therapies. Just in the last 9 months she has made tremendous growth. She went from saying 1-2 word…

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Take the Photo Dads

I realized today that even though I have 6,000 photos on my iPhone…I had zero of me and my three boys. I felt like I was wrangling cats, got a few sighs and protests, cleaned dirty chocolate mouths, said a few threats and told them to stop fighting a few times. But I got it. It only took 30 to get the good one Take the photo dads. These babies grow up over night. It feels like yesterday I was celebrating my first Mother’s Day. And now I have 8…

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My Most Precious Moment

It’s been 525,600 minutes since we last celebrated Mother’s Day. Has your child progressed as far as you hoped he would? Has he reached the goals you set for him? For those who have…congratulations! For those who haven’t, know that you are not alone. I remember a year when my daughter, Lizzie, came nowhere near reaching the goals I had set for her. Lizzie was diagnosed with autism days after her second birthday. She had every red flag…no functional language, no joint attention, no ability to communicate, and no awareness…

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The Right Amount of Hope

I’ve been thinking a lot about hope lately. And the right amount to have. Which is a funny thing to think about really. Because, how can one have the wrong amount of hope? My son has autism. And somehow, no matter where I am on the ‘hope for his future’ spectrum, I seem to have the wrong amount for some people. If I hope for words, I am told I should really be hoping for communication. If I hope for independent living, I am told that I’m not accepting reality.…

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It’s Not That I’m Not Happy For You

I need to be real for a minute. It’s not that I don’t want to be around you. It’s not that I don’t like your kids. It’s not that I don’t love watching your kids grow up from afar. It’s not that I’m not happy for you. It’s just too hard. It’s too hard to see your children developing at a normal rate. There’s no speech and language delay. There is no vocal stimming. There are no show stopping meltdowns. You just have kids who have a typical path to…

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How I Pour From an Empty Cup

You can’t pour from an empty cup. I’ve seen this plastered all over social media. And they are such wise words. Figuratively and literally, it makes so much sense. And I believe them wholeheartedly. But there’s a problem with my cup. There’s a hole at the bottom of it. And no matter how much I pour in, I always seem to fall short and empty. And that hole is autism. I am a very blessed woman. I have a wonderful 5 year old son who is the highlight of my…

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He Understands A Smile

We’ve known Lennon has autism for quite some time now, but the medical diagnosis came more recently. He is 30 months old now, a 2 1/2 year old aptly nicknamed “Baby Giant.” What that diagnosis came with were the parameters in which he fell. Nothing was where it should be, even his gross motor skills which we (his father and I) believed to be stellar. In most categories he fell in the 9 – 18 month range. Expected. Receptive comprehension was another story. There he was at (or under) the…

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It’s Like He is in His Own Little World

Being in a new place – with new surroundings, new people, new sounds, new lights, new everything – can be trying for any child. However, for my Jack it’s A LOT. It’s a challenge and something we all have to work hard towards together as a family. But we do it. We want to. Albeit a lot easier, we don’t want to always stay in our comfort zone of home. When the environment gets to be too much for Jack, he stims a lot more (in his case, jumping and…

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Her Spinning

I told her tonight that if she wanted to cuddle she would have to stop her wiggling and squirming. She was hiding underneath the blanket by my toes: giggling. Total sensory overload. She crawled out and laughed and flapped and I told her again. Things need to be structured to go smoothly. She wrapped her arms around me reluctantly avoiding too much touch and squeezed gently. The whole process so uncomfortable for her. “One, two, three, four…” We started together and then her counting became as always rapid and just…

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He’s Just Like Any Other Boy

I was making sure Austin didn’t follow someone through our gate the other day and this comment was made. “He’s just like any other boy” It’s not the first time this has been said to me, and I know it’s said with the intention to make me feel better and reassure me that Austin isn’t so different. That he is just like any other 5 year old boy. I don’t mind this comment because it is true. Austin can be like any other 5 year old. He wants what he…

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