I Don’t Know How You Do It

I don’t know how you do it.

Those seven words grate on my very last nerve.

What do you mean how do I do it?

Isn’t that what a parent is supposed to do? Isn’t that our #1 job?

When I entered this parental world, I never imagined it would be like this. I never knew such a deep love and sadness all wrapped in to one.

I never knew Autism.

Autism knows no bounds. It ravishes your life piece by piece.

Autism takes away so much. It takes away the joy and it buries you in sadness.

Autism stole my child’s life and Autism stole mine.

Autism has shown me a love I didn’t know existed.

Autism has shown me how truly cruel this world is.

Autism has dropped us in the middle of a world I didn’t’ know existed.

Autism is hard and unpredictable. There’s almost no sleep involved in this life and the struggles are exhausting.

No one plans on their child having special needs.

It’s not the life I thought my daughter and I would have.

I planned so many things.

I imagined her prom, wedding and grandchildren. These things will most likely not happen.

Yes, she can attend her prom and she will be glorious, but it won’t be the same.

Nothing will ever be the way I imagined it.

I have been attacked for my honesty.

I’ve had weak pathetic people copy and mock my ‘’on we go’’ and I have been boo-hood for telling our story.

What I quickly came to realize is that people that sit behind their keyboards are the pathetic ones trying to justify their lives. 

They are the ones I feel sad for. How long can one bury their head in the sand? A lifetime I suppose.

And most importantly Autism has taught me to fight for my child.

It has taught me unconditional love and endless emotions. And Autism has taught me to cherish all accomplishments big and small.

So, how do I do this?

I love my child every bit as much you love your child.

I love her on a level most don’t understand unless you live in our world of special needs.

How do I do it? I AM HER MOTHER.

On we go.

Written by, Jennifer Dunn

My name is Jennifer Dunn, I am the mother of a beautiful 7 year old girl with ASD. Kya and I live in Vancouver, Canada. I work full-time and also manager her team of therapists. Our weekends are mostly filled with therapy, but I am happy to be on this journey with my Bug. I share our journey at https://www.facebook.com/keepingupwithkya/

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Finding Cooper's Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you're never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village....all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to my page!

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