Posts Tagged ‘Autism diagnosis’
I can’t do it anymore…
“I can’t do it anymore.” I’ve said this more times this last month that I’ve lost count. I’ve said it in my head. I’ve said it to my husband Adam, and to friends. I’ve even said it out loud sitting next to the most beautiful little innocent soul. I’m not perfect. I am no where near it. I say and feel things I shouldn’t. I get angry. I yell. I cry. I get frustrated. And at times I think others have it better, or easier. I crumble every single day.…
Read MoreThe View From Here
At 9 months old, I knew there was something different about Zachary. At 17 months old I took it upon myself to get him started in feeding therapy, and then shortly after early intervention. At that early point in Zachary’s life everyone tells you, “he is fine” … “he is a boy, they take longer to do certain things” and all that extra fluff. As a nurse I knew differently, and as a mom I knew in my heart. Zachary will be 4 years old in April, which also means I have been a mom for that…
Read MoreSeeing the Delays in Writing
Jamie and I just came from Cooper’s Treatment Plan meeting. We do these quarterly. It feels like monthly sometimes. Today, we discussed his standard diagnostic assessments with cognitive testing. Man that is a mouthful. If you live in our world you know about the Vineland, the Behavior Assessment System for Children, the SDQ, The CASII, the Gilliam Autism Rating Scale and the Weshsler Nonverbal Scale of Ability. All of these are black and white standardized tests that are used to tell you that your child is autistic. In our case,…
Read MoreA Letter to my Firstborn
I guess you don’t remember when it was just you and me. A time before having a sibling to share the attention that you so desperately craved. We had two years alone together, you and I. We would read endless books together because it was your favorite thing to do. We would go for walks, to playgrounds, to play places, to restaurants. We were out in the world and we loved exploring it. I would marvel at each new thing that you learned. I would watch with a heart full…
Read MoreGod Still Hears Her
I have four kids and I love being a mom, all my kids are so unique and loved! But from the moment I got pregnant with my first child, I felt God let me feel his heart for my daughter in a extra special way. I felt like she was a worshipper and her heart was going to be connected to God in a super special way. I have a memory when I was in the beginning of labor with her, I looked up after a contraction to see tears in…
Read MoreSomething as Simple as a Haircut
Sometimes autism slaps you in the face and man does it sting. Today, was one of those days. Most days we are plugging along, going to therapy, school and work and although autism is always there (Franklin is 4 and nonverbal so believe me it’s always there) it’s background noise. Franklin and Scarlett are healthy and happy and so is our family. But then something as simple as a haircut, changes everything and autism is smack in your face, rearing its ugly head. We have been putting it off for…
Read MoreThey Say he has Autism
“They say he has autism.” I didn’t go with my wife to the appointment with the developmental pediatrician that day. I had taken a couple sick days not too long before then, and I didn’t think it would be prudent to take another off. I remember telling her I wasn’t worried about what we were going to hear. “He’s just a little behind,” I had said, confident in the outcome of the appointment. “I was behind. I had to go to therapy and all that. Look, he’s only two. We’ve…
Read MoreThe Little Boy in the Mirror
Young boy looks in the mirror and wonders, who am I to you? I know I’m some kind of different and not less Yet I’m more than just a condition Just have to accept me with love and understanding Because I’m that amazing, unique, and special all wrapped in one I see that little boy in the mirror now and I say You’re perfect just who you are Love doesn’t need no words You are worth everything and more Still I accept just who you are Because just like the…
Read MoreThe Box of Kleenex on the Table
On the 24th of August, my husband and I sat hand in hand to finish a year long diagnostic journey to understand why our son Romeo lives in such silence. I could feel Gerardo’s fingers stroke my knuckles as the words spilled from the specialists mouth. As they sat and explained therapies, research, support groups…my mind wandered to the Kleenex box on the table. My child wasn’t sick, his life wasn’t in danger and the world didn’t stop turning. Romeo didn’t stop being Romeo. We just had a name for…
Read MoreThat Day was the Beginning of Me
My oldest son was diagnosed with ADHD at 4 years old, which I jokingly (well sort of) say he got from his mother. We are both high strung, multi-tasking, over analyzing, high functioning anxiety stricken people. He was challenging as teachers put it but I totally got him. It was not a challenge in that I felt like I was looking in the mirror at myself and I could totally relate. My youngest son began having issues very early on but not in the typical autistic way. And it was…
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