Posts Tagged ‘Autism diagnosis’
What Word Describes you in 2019?
Here we are in the last month of 2019. Wow! Where did the year go? While doing a late-night Facebook scroll, I read a post from a lovely neighbor that read “what will be the word that describes you in 2019?” I thought about that intently. I am different than I was one year ago. Forever changed by one word. Acceptance. I have a horrible memory and often times can’t even remember why I opened the fridge! Although, there are moments over this past year that have been ingrained…
Read MoreI’ll Try Harder to be Better
I haven’t been the best wife, daughter, friend, mom to you and…I’m sorry. You see, today my son’s therapist mentioned she noticed him biting his hand. ‘Self injuring’ was the exact term she used, and he did it five times within their three hour session. She told me to ‘keep an eye on it’ and to notify her if ‘the behaviors worsened’. That’s been on my mind all afternoon. Retracing every step leading up to every ‘behavior’. Wondering what could have set him off… Wondering what we could do differently tomorrow…
Read MoreWhen you Take the Lens Off
I am not new to the autism world, in fact, I’d like to think of myself as almost a professional autism mom. Many times, I am called in by a lot of my social media friends to be the one they connect to, when another mom has a child that is showing developmental delays, or behaviors that just don’t seem very typical for the age. My son is almost twelve, and we’ve been through so much since the day that 6-pound 13-ounce baby was placed into my arms. When he…
Read MoreA Thank You Letter To Bubba’s Twin Brother
Dear Braidan, My sweet little buddy… I’m not sure there are words to describe just how truly thankful I am for you and everything you do for your brother…but I’m going to give it a try. Since the day I brought you and Ethan home from the hospital, you have been inseparable. You’d want to be close to each other touching and cuddling. You’d steal each others binkies and giggle at the silliest things. I loved it! Sissy loved taking turns feeding you and helping you both learn new things… …
Read MoreAutism is Joy. So Much Joy.
Autism. It’s not glamorous, easy, or fun. It’s cancelling plans you’d been looking forward to, and not wanting to explain because you don’t want pity or sympathy… Or even worse…someone acting like they understand something that you have to live to grasp. It is size 7 diapers at three and a half, and fearing having to put your squishy cheek little boy in adult diapers. It’s baby gates, high chairs, and it’s closed top cups. It is toys still in boxes because your son would rather spin the wheels on…
Read MoreI Will Never Be the Same
Yesterday, I couldn’t get out of bed. I barely willed myself to do the dishes. I can’t explain why. Nothing had really “happened.” There wasn’t some explosive meltdown or feelings of inadequacy. I just got scared. So scared. I remember when I was a child and I would wake up from a bad dream and find myself in between my parents, completely safe and free or fear. Now I find myself in my son’s bed, my body curled next to his, never wanting to let go, knowing every morning I…
Read MoreThank you for Being the Friend I Needed
Our husbands (then boyfriends) had known each other for quite a while before we met. It was only a matter of time before we crossed paths. We all ended up carpooling to a wedding together, and after that weekend the rest was history. Our then boyfriends became fiancés. We both got married roughly two months apart, and later that year we both found out we were expecting. What a whirlwind. I should have known the stars had aligned when I met you. We spent the next nine months going to…
Read MoreThings I Wish I Had Known When My Son Was Diagnosed With Autism
THINGS I WISH I HAD KNOWN WHEN MY SON WAS FIRST DIAGNOSED WITH AUTISM: To tackle guilt from the very beginning. To focus on self-care earlier on. To make finding peace a priority. To not judge my beginnings so harshly. To focus on the good more, even when it was hardest to find. To stand up for myself sooner. To realize that the child I have right now is not the child I will have a year from now. To stop worrying so much about my child. He will be…
Read MoreWhen “It’s Fine” Means “It’s Not Fine”
When Mason’s therapists and I hit a roadblock, I turned to my special needs support group for ideas on why Mason was so apt to keep his brother from enjoying anything outside of watching Mickey Mouse. Why did he follow his brother around non-stop? Parenting and scolding, every second of every day? Why did he feel so entitled to every toy in the house, even those he most definitely disliked? Then someone had a brilliant, but heartbreaking suggestion. Maybe Mason had realized that his brother was surpassing him in some…
Read MoreThe 7 Stages of Special Needs Parenting
The first stage is denial, it wouldn’t happen to you, Your perfect little baby, you won’t believe it’s true. They can laugh, they can count; They’re so happy, so smart, But you have a sinking feeling, deep inside your heart. There’s something just not right, and other people see, ‘Oh look at how she moves her hands!’ And ‘It’s like she can’t hear me’ You mention it to someone, they say ‘No, I don’t think so’ But time passes and even they see the signs starting to show. Stage 2 is realisation that…
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