Posts Tagged ‘Autism diagnosis’
Did I Do Enough For Her?
When I found out my third baby was going to be a girl, I was really excited. I had two boys already and was curious how adding a little girl into the mix was going to be. I thought, and hoped, maybe my girl won’t have as many challenges that my boys had. I had a really good pregnancy with Grace. They didn’t find any anomalies in the womb like they did with her brother Daniel. She came on my scheduled due date unlike my son Nicholas who was born…
Read MoreFive Things I Wish I Knew Before An Autism Diagnosis
If you are new to this autism journey and are wondering how to process all the information out there, here are some things I wish I had known while going through the process. All autism characteristics do not all fit into a checklist. Many of the early signs of autism we recognized later in our son as he got older did not fit into the standard website search. Our son, at an early age, loved anything round. He carried around balls, round fruit, played with practically anything in the form…
Read MoreThe Pieces of Autism
I want to take a few minutes to talk about autism. This is my teenage son. He has what is called High Functioning Autism. I’ve always thought this was a poor name for a very complicated life existence. At a month shy of 14 he officially became a vendor at a local antique store. Because of the way his brain works, because of his Autism and ADHD, he has the ability to watch The Antique Road Show, American Pickers and Pawn Stars and store items away in his mind. When…
Read MoreMama, Take Time To Absorb This New Life
Autism is unconditional love. Autism is hard. Autism is constant struggles. Autism is often full of denials. I received a message from a new mama struggling to accept her son’s diagnosis and trying to find the words to tell her family. I couldn’t give her a magical answer. All I could say was the words will come when you’re ready. Do not rush the emotions. Take time for yourself to absorb the diagnosis. It is life altering. It is shattering. I can honestly say I didn’t accept the Autism diagnosis…
Read MoreOur Life Before Autism
Every night you fall asleep wrapped up in your favorite teddy bear. Tonight, was no different. You snuggled into the bear that is larger than you, wrapped yourself in blankets, and awaited your bedtime stories. We read 3 bedtime stories every night. You usually push for more, but tonight you were fast asleep before I even finished the second book. You do not fall asleep during the stories a lot, but when you do it is always my favorite. I stay a few extra minutes to soak in every ounce…
Read MoreThe Phone Calls We Take
I have been on countless phone calls in my lifetime. There was a time in my youth where I loved getting all the phone calls on my birthday, relatives singing happy birthday to me on the other end of the line. There was a time in my teens where I loved getting calls from my friends. The type of calls that invited stretching the cord as far as could around the corner, kicking my legs up against the wall and gabbing endlessly. The time in my 20’s where I graduated…
Read MoreMore Than Just A Word
I find myself talking a lot lately about speaking up for those who cannot speak for themselves. For me it’s personal. I feel things now and see things now in a way I never did before I was a mom, but truthfully mostly before I was Brendan’s mom. I often wish I could scream at the world…don’t you see it, how can you not? And then I remind myself, I didn’t always see it either. And not because I didn’t care. I didn’t see it because it didn’t affect me.…
Read MoreRemember Today
Dear Mama, Do me a favor, and remember every detail of this day—all of the words, sights, and sounds. Remember the tone of the doctor’s voice, and the way the receptionist smiled. Remember the way your heart hammered in your ribcage when you first heard the sentence. We believe it is Autism Spectrum Disorder. It was raining the day my son Jack was diagnosed. The doctor was very gentle, and kind. He watched Jack whirl and spin around the small room and collapse in tears when he bumped his shin…
Read MoreIt’s Not You Son, It’s Us
You’ve been walking quite a bit these days. You like walking; it calms you. You like to look at the birds, the sky. You open your mouth to take in the wind. Puddles are too good to pass by without engagement. You usually hold my hand. We talk about what we see. You repeat. You look, you smile, you laugh. Sometimes you point. But this day you let go of my hand. Unafraid and free. You needed to move at your pace, faster than me. You needed to feel the…
Read MoreFind Hope and Hold Onto it With All You Have
I wasn’t one of those mothers who saw it coming. I was blindsided when I heard the word autism. It hit my like a freight train and shattered my soul into a billion pieces instantly. That horrible feeling of not being able to breath, unwavering fear, fear of the unknowing, and worst of all, hopelessness, took over every inch of me. I thought at that moment I would never feel as horrible as I did then. As many of you know that would not be the case. That feeling would…
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