Posts Tagged ‘ASD’
There are Two Kinds of Autism Moms….
Just because shits been getting a little heavy in my world… I had a good nights sleep and woke up to Super Cooper carrying a picture around of our family. That kid has an element of sweetness and love I’ve never seen before. As I made my coffee he grabbed my hand and pointed to my face in the picture, giggled and then hugged my leg. And then my heart actually exploded. Damn you kid. Just when I was going to give up you sucked me back in. …
Read MoreWhen Do We Give Up?
I gave up yesterday. The details really don’t matter I guess. All that matters is I was pushed to that place where I didn’t recognize myself. I’m fighting with Cooper’s school and for the first time I saw that they are looking at him as a number and not a child. All the horror stories I’ve read about schools and special needs kids happened. I spent hours talking to people that have never met Cooper….nor do they really care about his best interest. Cooper is a special child with special…
Read MorePotty Training Desperation
I’ve reached my limit with potty training Cooper. I’ve exhausted all options that I know of. I need help. I am waving the white flag. Or crying in front of the toilet after being kicked in the shins. Either one. There are good things happening. The kid does not want to wear a diaper…especially a wet one. He takes it off if we put one on him. And here’s the kicker. He stays dry. He has excellent bladder control. And when he has to pee he will bring us a…
Read MoreCranioSacral Therapy For Children
I’m not always up for trying new therapy’s with Cooper. And there are MANY reasons why. First, they are expensive. A lot of therapies are not covered by insurance. Pre-autism I was unaware of the black hole of death that is health insurance. When you don’t need it….but have it…it’s great. When you have it…and need it…and your kid needs everything…it can be very tough. Second, no therapy that you want to try will ever be conveniently located or at a time that works. It’s the truth. Plus, my kid…
Read MoreI Thought By Now…
I thought by now I would have mastered autism. I truly did. And that I would be the one giving advice to other mamas. I thought by now that my nonverbal boy would be talking away. And potty trained. I thought by this time we would be so much farther along. We are not. In some ways we are in the same spot. Standing still. I just spent 5 minutes scrolling through Pinterest. I entered one word into the search box…Autism. I wasn’t sure what I was looking for. Maybe hope.…
Read MoreSuper Cooper
Do you know that I was actually stressed about posting that video of Cooper making sounds online. I’ve been doing this for 3 years. I’ve been waiting for the words for so long. And I start to feel like my hope is like a broken record. Even today, I regretted it. I know the comments I will hear from people now. Don’t be sad…he’s making sounds. He’s close to talking. Someday he will talk. It will happen soon. It’s almost like these videos are ammunition of hope. But what the mom inside me…
Read MoreEye Contact and Autism
When you google signs of autism…or talk to someone about autism….you typically hear the same signs. Lack of eye contact. Lack of affection. Withdrawn behaviors. Social delays. Cognitive delays. Playing with toys in odd manners. And the list goes on. When I used to ‘think’ about autism I would think of a really withdrawn child. I would think of a kiddo that didn’t hug or give love. And that wasn’t Cooper. So I told myself it wasn’t autism. I would lay in bed at night and mentally tick of the things he did…
Read MoreThe Truth about Special Needs Parenting
There are no medals given out to special needs moms. It’s not like you do all this and at the end you get an award. There are very few breaks. Very few kudos. And in my world even fewer thank you’s. For some moms there are no hugs. Or kisses. But you do it. You keep fighting. It’s a mixture of hope and desperation. And not a day goes by when you don’t wonder…‘Am I doing the right things for my child?’ And here is the truth. I didn’t get a…
Read More"Where's Cooper?"
I’m sobbing right now. I can’t even summarize how this video makes me feel. I’m not there in the journey yet. Every morning Sawyer wakes up and says, ‘Where’s Cooper?” He genuinely cares and wants to see his brother. And my heart hurts every single time because I don’t believe Cooper knows he has a brother. Cooper wouldn’t notice if Sawyer was gone. He wouldn’t question it even in a nonverbal way. I was gone for 5 days last week and got home late on Friday night. When Cooper woke up…
Read MoreMother's Day. Sigh.
This is the 4th year that I have been a mama. I spent a good chunk of yesterday thinking about Cooper’s past birthdays. About all the holidays. And Halloweens. God I hate Halloween now. Any event where Cooper has to participate is the devil to me. Expectations kill me. Valentines Day. No valentines for us. And Easter Egg hunts. And then I thought about the future. This kid is going to be five. He has no words. He has very little awareness. He is going to lose his first tooth soon. And…
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