Posts Tagged ‘ASD’
We Are All Worthy
Erase the word. Wouldn’t it be nice if it were that simple? There are certain words that have such a negative impact. Words that describe race, sexual orientation, substance abuse, and disabilities. As a parent of a child with special needs, I want to talk about the stigma of the derogatory word used to describe people with mental disabilities and the word that is also used as slang to make fun of others, in reference to them being stupid. I clearly remember sitting across from the psychologist as he was…
Read MoreSometimes She Teaches Me
My five year old was having a summer pandemic playdate complete with masks and social distancing. It had been a while since we had actually seen other people in-person outside of our immediate family. She was beaming for the first time in six months and was so excited to actually be able to play with a friend. Unlike me, she wasn’t nervous. She didn’t care about the mask. She wasn’t worried about maintaining six feet of distance. She was just so happy to get a piece of normal back. My…
Read MoreThat Old Famous Line
Close your eyes. And just for a moment think back to the most important piece of advice you got when you were younger, on how to treat others. This is mine, and I know you’ll recognize it… We were all told that famous line as children, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”. And yet, I find myself exhaling extra deep when I hear specific hateful, mindless words fall from the mouths of children and adults alike, still, at this day in age. Words…
Read MoreThe “R” Word
Okay guys let’s talk about something…. The ‘R’ word. You all know the word I’m talking about. I want to ask you a favor…will you please erase this word from your vocabulary? For me. For my darling Oaklan. For every other special needs family in our neurodiverse world. So many people use the ‘R’ word as an off the cuff comment without a single thought to the long term effects it can have on someone. But I’m here to tell you, every single time a special needs family member hears…
Read MoreThe Power of Words
“I’m so tired of hearing about special needs kids. They’ll be fine. They were retarded before Covid they’ll still be retarded after. So let’s just keeps those kids at home and when this passes they can come back to school. Do you really think they’ll be any different after a year of staying home with their parents? Sounds like someone doesn’t want to deal with their special needs kid. Sorry you fucked got pregnant and had a retarded kid. Your problem not mine…” [sic] These words were written on Facebook…
Read MoreReal Joy
Can I tell you about a boy and his secret, amazing world. And joy. He is ten years old. His name is Cooper, although we mostly call him Snoopy Joe. He loves bright colors and snow and music and waving. He also loves Christmas. He doesn’t talk much. In fact, on the paper in my drawer it says he has level three, severe, nonverbal autism and an intellectual disability. There is more too. It’s a lot. He has a file. I don’t look at it much. Only when I have…
Read MoreHe is Made of the Wind
‘It’s a wondrous thing how the wild calms the child.’ – unknown There is something about being outside that makes life better. For all of Cooper’s life, we have made being outdoors a priority. And I don’t mean busy parks or commercialized places. I mean the woods. Fields. Lakes. Deserted trails. See, we tried going where the people were when he was younger. When he was first diagnosed with autism. We tried so hard to make it work. But he never quite understood what to do in those places. If…
Read MoreWhat I Can Control
One of the best pieces of advice ever given to me came from a pediatrician when my third son was 7 days old. I sat in the exam room, dirty hair, bags under my eyes, nipples on fire, holding this beautiful, perfect bundle. And I told the doctor all of my fears. I was worried about my milk supply. My older autistic son adapting to his new brother. Signs of autism in my newborn. Not being a good enough mother to three very unique kids with very unique needs. Failing.…
Read More‘I’m Here Buddy’
Cooper has always reached for a hand to hold when we are in the community. But not just any hand. Typically mom or dad. He likes the comfort of us walking alongside him. Sometimes we lead. Sometimes he does. But he’s always an arms length away. We often refer to him as a little old man. Cautious. Careful. He points out ice and mud and dangerous terrain with a point and a gasp. He likes to lean in for hugs too. Which I soak up. On our walk tonight, my…
Read MoreWe Just Want to Help Our Son
I don’t understand anxiety but I’m trying. Most nights, after my son has fallen asleep, and I’ve tucked him in for the last time, I study his features and listen to his breathing. It is calm. Finally. When he sleeps, his worry is gone. It releases him for a few hours. I am thankful he can rest. Most nights I feel like a failure because I can’t take this burden from him. I can’t seem to fix it. Anxiety is slippery. It is sneaky and seemingly impossible to catch. But…
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