What I Can Control
One of the best pieces of advice ever given to me came from a pediatrician when my third son was 7 days old. I sat in the exam room, dirty hair, bags under my eyes, nipples on fire, holding this beautiful, perfect bundle. And I told the doctor all of my fears.
I was worried about my milk supply. My older autistic son adapting to his new brother. Signs of autism in my newborn. Not being a good enough mother to three very unique kids with very unique needs. Failing.
Eventually I worked myself into a tizzy, the tears flowing from my eyes.
And this doctor said to me…’Kate, what can you can control? And what is out of your control? Let’s figure that out. Because there is no use worrying about the things out of our control.
He was absolutely right. Since that conversation, I have worked very hard to focus and pour my energy into what I can control. And to try and forget the rest.
My son has autism. He is autistic. Anxiety is his biggest struggle. One that I cannot fix for the life of me.
I can’t stop it. I can’t snap my fingers and make it go away. Nor can I control it.
But what I can do, is refuse to settle. I can wake up every day and willingly research, call doctors, make appointments, modify medications, try new therapies, and so on. I can do everything in my power to help him.
I can get my boys outside in the sunshine. I can watch them experience the joy the outdoors brings.
I can control WHAT I do. And how I FEEL. And how I REACT.
It may be my son’s anxiety. But it is me that fights the fight and walks the walk alongside him and that I can control.
This goes for our personal lives too. For gossip, drama, and more. For people who do not like me. Or those who think I am the worst. It is what it is because I cannot control others.
But I can control how I respond.
I challenge you to think about what you can control…and what you can’t. And then, how you react to it.
And once you do, you will find your peace.
And it just may come in a walk with your kids on a beautiful spring day.
Anxiety and all.
Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.
