Posts Tagged ‘ASD’
I Wonder
My son, I wonder if you will always reach for my hand when we are walking. I wonder if you will always be precious and innocent. I wonder if you will always gasp at birds and at squirrels. I wonder if you will always point to airplanes. And wave to strangers. And bark when puppies walk by. I wonder if you will always run up to a mud puddle with such joy and excitement and then look back to get my attention before you jump in. I wonder if we…
Read MoreSilence and Sunshine
My son, This morning was one of those great mornings. You and I, sitting side-by-side, taking in the morning in our own familiar way. You on the couch surrounded by 7 fleece blankets and treasures. Me, right next to you in the recliner, feet up, drinking coffee. The news was going on about something or another but I couldn’t really hear it over the music blaring from your iPad. You were dancing to it. Every few seconds you would pick up my arm and move it with yours to the…
Read MoreThe Third Child
There is just something about the third child. I hear they rule the roost usually. And are often little stinkers. Both true for this one. Right now he’s two years old. The third boy. The boss. He loves Nerf Guns, monster trucks, and Blaze and the Monster Machine. He has the most pleasant personality of anyone I have ever met. He adores his brothers. He drives both of them bonkers too. Without fear. He lives on chocolate. I kid. But for real, he loves snacks and treats and raspberries. Getting…
Read MoreHe Waits for Me
For the last few weeks, I have been spending a lot of my time driving back and forth to visit my dad in the hospital. And it’s no short trip. It’s nearly 3 hours one way. This means I’ve missed being home when my boys get off of the bus. Which is okay, my dad needs me. And these boys are in more than capable hands with their dad. But it’s hard. It makes me feel out of wack, like I can’t get my bearings. I don’t like missing anything…
Read MoreTearing Down the Walls
I read a quote a while back that told older moms to be the friend they needed when they were younger. I think about it often in relation to my kids. My son Cooper is 10. He was diagnosed with autism 8 years ago. And later severe and nonverbal and a whole lot of other words were thrown into the mix. And overnight our world got a lot smaller. It seemed to shrink. It seemed to go on without us. And yet my son was exactly who he was born…
Read MoreBaby Shower
When I look at these photos from my baby shower I see so many amazing things. I see a group of women brought together by a little boy who has no idea the positive impact he is having on the world. I see women supporting women. I see strength. I see the loneliness I felt just a few years prior. I see lifelong friendships. And I see our kids growing up together. We have been brought together by our children and autism and I couldn’t be more thankful. Thank you…
Read MoreThe Beginning of Our Autism Journey
When my first son Parker was born, he was a big baby with a ton of awesome hair. It was all I ever heard. People would say, “Look at all that hair!” I was one proud Dad! Not because of the hair, but because I always wanted to be a Dad! I was already starting to think about all the things we would do together. Play t-ball, pee wee football, soccer, basketball, hockey, go-karts, anything he wanted to do. He could grow up to be whoever he wanted to be,…
Read MoreBehold, the Autism Mama
My son Jack has autism. He was born on Mother’s Day, in 2004. Over the past sixteen-almost-seventeen-years, I have had to tell and re-tell his diagnosis so many times, I’ve lost count. By now, I’m pretty sure I’ve heard it all when it comes to autism. I’ve heard about the vaccines, and the poor maternal bonding, and the gluten and the horse therapy. One kindly older woman even suggested Windex could be to blame. Windex? I thought. The problem is, can be hard to know what to say, or how to…
Read MoreTo the Medical Mama: I now Understand
How many times have I watched from a distance, mostly from behind a screen, as special needs parents spent weeks or even months in the hospital with their child, and I’ve thought, “gosh, that’s got to be hard.” I had a limited understanding of how difficult an ordeal like that could be because my 16 year old son Luke has been extremely healthy for many years; healthy until last year when we spent 6 weeks in ICU with him after his shunt malfunctioned and then became infected after a new…
Read MoreIt Could have Been the Last Time
See that voicemail from my dad? I just saw that it was there. I didn’t know until a few minutes ago. I find as my kids get older, and use my phone to watch videos, I lose track of people trying to contact me. The messages and voicemails build up without me knowing and when I finally look I feel terrible. Except that wasn’t the case this time. My dad called me last Tuesday afternoon. I sent him to voicemail because I was busy at the time. I was on…
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