Posts Tagged ‘ASD’
Complicated Beauty
One of the things I’ve learned as I’ve aged is that there is more than one way to look at something. Most things are complicated. Intricate I guess. They aren’t simple. I’ve even learned that my heart and mind can feel differently too. As if at odds with each other. I just took my oldest and youngest sons to the park. Our park. The one place where we can move comfortably without fear of judgement of the boy who moves and communicates and thinks differently. It’s our favorite place. On…
Read MoreThe Special Mother
Did you ever wonder how mothers of disabled children were chosen? Somehow I visualize God hovering over the earth selecting his instruments of propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger. “This one gets a daughter. The Patron saint will be Cecelia” “This one gets twins. The Patron saint will be Matthew” “This one gets a son. The Patron saint…..give her Gerard. He’s used to profanity” Finally He passes a name to an angel and smiles. “Give her…
Read MoreAn Amazing Gift
See that man on the left there? He stopped by our home today to do business with Cooper’s dad. When he walked in…Cooper gasped. And pointed. And waved. Now knowing my sweet boy, I know that he will continue to wave until said person waves back. Sometimes, people don’t notice him because he is unable to speak. Or they are busy. Or they get uncomfortable by the bigger ten year old boy waving so intently. I’ve seen it all. So, I often gently say…‘this is Cooper and he is autistic.…
Read MoreI See You Mama, But Do You See Me?
Dear mama with normal children, “Normal? What is normal?” you might be asking. “Is that even politically correct?” Honestly, I’m not sure because I’m tired. And I don’t spend my free time on political jargon. And I definitely don’t sleep well. And most of my waking hours, I’m caring for someone else or finding resources that will hopefully make our life a little bit easier someday. Someday…a day that feels more and more like a unicorn lately. You see, I’m a special needs mama to a 16-year-old son. And no,…
Read MoreThis Time Was Different, But Not Really
I have a terrible memory, but I remember that day like it was yesterday. I was a 23-year-old single mom. I was recently divorced, working 3 jobs, and had absolutely no idea what I was doing. With one look, anyone would have seen that I was ready to break at any moment. The doctor could see it too, I could tell. I could tell by the way she tip-toed around the subject, like she just knew I needed a bit of hand holding. I could tell by the way she…
Read MoreThriving Instead of Surviving
I came across an old post on my personal Facebook page that I wrote two years ago, on April 5th, 2019. That was a pivotal day for me, one that both shattered my naive perception of life and changed the way I live it. The following is an updated and edited version of that post from two years ago: “A harsh Autism reality hit our household yesterday. Evie was thriving for about two months, preschool was going amazing. Then things changed. Her teacher got transferred to a different location, her…
Read MoreUnlocking Your Voice
My Dearest Daughter Sloane, Last night I had a dream about you. I had a dream that I went to your room to wake you up, and you sat up in your bed, and you said to me in the sweetest voice, “Mom, I have so much to tell you, and I don’t know how this is happening.” I woke up out of breath, and I don’t remember anything else. You’ve had a hard few days. Your struggles have been heavy. I’ve needed to know so many things only you…
Read MoreThe Person
I never wanted to be The Person. You know, The Person—the one in a marriage who handles all the kid stuff, like changing the diapers and checking the homework folder and buying shoes. (The Person is also known as the Default Parent, The Micromanager, or the Helicopter Mom.) I did pretty well for the first year I was a mother. Our oldest son Joey was born and, for the most part, my husband Joe and I handled the responsibility of taking care of a new baby fairly equally. I didn’t care how he swaddled him,…
Read MoreWanted: That Mom Friend
I’m looking for a mom friend. You know, ‘that’ mom friend. That friend that needs no explanation because our worlds twirl within the same circles. The one who I can call at any hour of the night, because both of our families are wide awake anyhow. The one who puts the same amount of miles on her car, from searching every store, for that specific package of fruit snacks, or brand of pizza, or shape of chicken nugget. The mom friend that is fluent in a familiar list of prescribed…
Read MoreA Story That Changed My Life
A few weeks ago I had the honor of chatting with Peri of Not Raingirl. Peri is one of my most favorite humans on this earth. She is also an autism self advocate. She was diagnosed as a young girl and now shares her memories, learnings, and feelings with the world. Essentially, she is a guidepost for parents who want to listen and learn. When we spoke last, she told me a story that changed my life as a mother to an autistic child. In the story, she was referencing…
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