Posts Tagged ‘Acceptance’
Friend, Please Allow Me to Feel and Worry
Friend, parent, partner, even a stranger on Facebook… I have a request for you. It’s going to sound really simple to you. Maybe even silly. But here goes. Please allow me to feel everything when it comes to my child’s diagnosis. Let me feel all the feelings and worry about all the worries, no matter how irrational or ridiculous they sound to you. Please, pretty please, don’t try to silence me. Or rush me along in the process. Please don’t make me feel guilty for feeling or acting a certain…
Read MoreThe 7 Stages of Special Needs Parenting
The first stage is denial, it wouldn’t happen to you, Your perfect little baby, you won’t believe it’s true. They can laugh, they can count; They’re so happy, so smart, But you have a sinking feeling, deep inside your heart. There’s something just not right, and other people see, ‘Oh look at how she moves her hands!’ And ‘It’s like she can’t hear me’ You mention it to someone, they say ‘No, I don’t think so’ But time passes and even they see the signs starting to show. Stage 2 is realisation that…
Read MoreThe Kindness of a Mom who Gets it
My husband’s team lost their football game Friday night. It was a tough loss to a rival and I know many people would love to forget it ever happened, but something wonderful happened at that game that I hope I never forget. I was tired and almost didn’t go. It had been a long week at school, but I felt guilty for missing last week’s game. Eli reconfirmed my decision to go when I told him we were going bye bye and he replied, “football?” The fact that he remembered…
Read MoreThe Heartache of Early Autism
A high-pitched, eardrum-puncturing, almost inhuman scream came from behind me. The sound quickly filled the room and immediately pierced my heart. Instead of turning around, I reached for the door handle, shut the door tightly, leaving her on the other side. As I walked down the stairs, her screaming never let up. I went outside, sat on our porch swing and began to gently press my bare feet into the pebbled pavement causing the swing to sway slowly back and forth. The warm rays of the sun and refreshing cool breeze beckoned me to look upward,…
Read MoreI Was So Scared of Different
I used to be so scared of different. Of standing out. I preferred to blend in. Not rock the boat. But you kid. You changed all that. You were born to stand out. To be different. When you were little I’d get so scared. The fear would paralyze me. We’d be in a waiting room or at a park. Everyone else would be sitting. Or playing quietly. You’d be flapping. Or making happy noises. Moving chairs. Eating sand. Twirling. Never sitting. Screeching. Grunting. Laughing at sounds or colors. You’d drop…
Read MoreYou Can Feel Sad and Love Simultaneously
You can feel sad about your child’s diagnosis and still love them with every fiber of your being. If you do, I want you to know that you’re not alone in your feelings. It doesn’t make you a bad parent. You may feel powerless, frustrated, and depressed. I know I’ve felt all this and more. I’d kept these feelings to myself for a while because I was ashamed. I was afraid to admit them. I love my son Charlie, so the sadness that engulfed me was confusing. For a long…
Read MoreLooking into the Future
We chatted today. I was the mom next to you in the neurologists office with the two redheaded girls. Even if my girls weren’t loud and imposing in small spaces, I’m sure you would still remember us. I saw you watching them as you nervously waited for your appointment. And after seeing your beautiful little girl, I’m pretty sure we share more than a love of Wawa frozen cappuccinos. As your little lady sat on the floor with her kindle, I’m guessing I saw more than most moms would in this…
Read MoreNo Autism, Just Love
“Today has been tough. Aubrey has told me all day long, “I don’t want a brother.” Multiple times, and always very serious and sad. I asked her why she felt that way and she said, “Because he just cries too much.” I froze. Aside from wanting to tell her that she does the same and yet we still keep her around, I decided to give her grace instead. I tried to explain to her why her brother gets upset sometimes, and has a hard time staying calm, and that it’s…
Read MoreIs That What You Want?
I just received a phone call from the office that my son’s doctor referred us to for an autism evaluation. I expected they would be calling soon to schedule an appointment. What I didn’t expect was what actually took place on the phone. I just sat there like an idiot, not even sure what to say. *Ring Ring Me: Hello Her: Hi, is this Mrs. Foster? Me: Yes it is. Her: I’m calling from (insert office name here). We received a referral for your son for autism testing. (quiet pause)…
Read MoreI Saw You Today
I saw you today. In fact I saw several of you. I was the mom picking up some groceries with my son. My autistic son, that’s all he is. No need to walk on eggshells around us, we were just fine. But I’m not sure you were. When he made unusual noises as I stood at the deli counter you were allowed to smile at me and say hello. It would’ve gone a long way to put me at ease. It wasn’t necessary to look past us as if we…
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