Guest Post
Someone Will Always Have it Harder
Many times in my life I have felt guilty for complaining. You know, because someone else has it harder. This happened a lot when I was in a bad place going through something hard in my life. Like divorce, being a single mom, the struggle with school (when having a child with gifts or special needs) becoming a step parent and blending families, and so many other situations that broke me or made me crumble for an hour, for a day or maybe more. But it wasn’t until I had…
Read MoreThere is No Summer Vacation for Working Autism Parents
February is over and the pressure is on. What are we going to do with our daughter Ally this summer—the void of endless time and childcare needs? Ally is on the autism spectrum and will be 6-years-old this summer. The part of parenting I never expected to hate the most is summer. I always imagined we would plan trips, go on adventures, and spend a few weeks together each year making memories, the way families should. But for our family, there are no vacations and trips as we juggle to…
Read MoreThe Aftermath of Sensory Overload
Sometimes I forget our lives don’t look like others. It’s probably a survival mechanism, and thinking about it, I’m grateful I have these moments where our lives feel normal to me. But to others? It’s far from typical, or expected, or usual. My son has had a lot of excitement over the past couple weeks. His fourth birthday party went so well, but it came at the cost of the aftermath. He actually handles changes in routine pretty well in moments – we’ve figured out how to help him navigate…
Read MoreHow To Use The Right Words When Talking About Those With Disabilities
It was freshman year of high school. I was sitting in English class and I overheard someone calling their friend retarded. Yes, almost 20 years later, I still remember every detail of this day, down to who the person was and what he was wearing. “Hey find a different word!” I yelled at my classmate. The class got quiet. Waiting to see what would happen next. As a high school student, my approach wasn’t the best in advocating for those with disabilities. “Why because your brother is retarded?” the freshman…
Read MoreThe True Meaning of Worship
What I learned from a nonverbal young lady at church… I entered quietly and slid into my regular seat. I prepared myself for worship to begin. That’s just how I usually do things. Routine. Perhaps, even mundane. Dull. It was how I was raised I suppose. You entered. Your presence was known from the back of the room. Your boots clunked down the center aisle, somewhat vocal as you walked carrying your snack. Your mom followed closely behind you, trying to direct you to a row towards the back of…
Read MoreThe Things I Don’t Say
Our 5 yr old won an award at school. He goes to a public school and is in a special needs room. The school was having a breakfast today to celebrate the children for creativity and my husband and I were so excited to attend. It’s hard to go to the events at school because it’s confusing for him but we do our best and do lots of prep work. He first saw us and panicked….no no no. He was confused as to why we are at school. He thinks it’s…
Read MoreThe Silent Moments And The Loudest Thoughts
In horror movies, the silence often lets us know something bad is about to happen. We tense our bodies, pull the covers up in preparation, and anticipate the worst. We do the same in special needs parenting, or in my case, being the mother of a nonverbal autistic son. Sometimes I feel like there is so much silence that it could consume me whole. It’s not just the moments when I look into my beautiful son’s eyes and try with every cell in my body to will him to say…
Read MoreToday, I Failed
Today, I failed you. I yelled. You cried. I cried. As we were doing our normal morning routine, fighting about putting your jeans on, I was already anxious. Worried about how school drop offs would be, worried if you were going to get upset as I walked down the hall to leave the school… all the normal morning anxiety. After the jeans debacle, you were finally dressed. Not without a little negotiation, of course. “First jeans, then bunny socks!” Harper has some socks with a bunny on the side… he is…
Read MoreA Letter To The Mom With A Newly Diagnosed Child
Dear Mama, I know you’re probably feeling every single emotion flooding through your body right now… And I wish that I was there to wrap my arms around you and give you the big loving hug you so desperately need. I may not physically be there with you, but please know that I am here…along with an army of fierce mamas who have been exactly where you are. I’ve been on this journey for almost 9 years now and there are a few things I’ve learned along the way. Many…
Read MoreWhen Family Isn’t Best
It’s been a year. A whole year. My son, Tucker, and I just got back home from his open heart surgery. My daughter, Hazel, was in the throes of her worst regression to date. And my husband Sam, and I just decided to move to Texas for a new job; more or less on a whim. That was the day I found out that Hazel had been hurt. Sam left early from the hospital, we just couldn’t afford for him to stay in Rochester with us, and Hazel needed her…
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