Guest Post
My Son Does Not Have To Hide
I’ve had a couple of moms ask me lately if I consider how my son Jackson might feel about me speaking publicly about his struggles. And they’ve asked if I’m considering his feelings and if it might hurt him if he reads these words one day. I thought about their question long and hard before I started journaling about him privately for myself. And I thought about it even harder before I put my words out there for others to hear. I felt slightly attacked and caught off guard and…
Read MoreMamas, All Will Be Okay
Preschool graduation…onto Kindergarten. Probably doesn’t sound like a big deal to most, but let me tell you about our Jack. From the very beginning of his diagnosis, I have felt compelled to be a voice, an advocate for not only him, but all diagnosed with ASD. To share stories of our experiences, of our life, in hopes to raise awareness and acceptance of autism. Almost 2 years ago now, Jack was accepted into an amazing special needs program, that also runs in the summers as well – so year round…
Read More5 Things I Wish I Could Tell Me 4 Years Ago:
1. It wasn’t you. It wasn’t that you were too busy as a mom now trying to juggle two kids instead of one and you just didn’t give your second child the same amount of attention as your first. It wasn’t because of that one time that he hit his head. It wasn’t any decision you made or didn’t make for him. You were just being a mom the best way you knew how. This wasn’t about you. This was just going to be. Let go of the why. 2.…
Read MoreTonight, You Needed Me
Tonight you needed me. That sounds so crazy to say. You’re three, of course you need me. But, let’s be honest. Not really. Not like your sister needs me. She needs me to ‘looooooook’ a lot. Look at a crumb she swears is a bug. Look out the window to see if the neighbor’s dogs are out running around. Look in the pantry to get another snack. Look in the basket of books to find the right one. She seeks out my smiles and giggles. She gets louder and more…
Read MoreWhen Mother’s Day is Hard
Mother’s Day for a special needs mom does not look like everyone else’s day… I spent my Mother’s Day redirecting behaviors that were furiously present this week. I’m not saying this as negative, I’m saying it because it’s true, and I’m recognizing the hard. I try to share the good more than the bad, but sometimes the hard is an important part of our story too. It isn’t always positive new skills, or new words, or meds that work for a day or two. There was no sleeping in or…
Read MoreLet Me Be A Fly On The Wall
I often catch myself thinking, if only I was a fly on the wall. I’ve uttered those words to your therapists after they share the celebrated moments of your morning. Moments you have worked so hard for. Harder than most. Moments like when you said ’swing’ for the first time. Tried a strawberry. Waved hello to another child. Pointed to the object when asked, “Where is the…?” Hugged a stuffed animal. Moments I thought I would witness first. Moments I thought would happen with me. Precious child of mine, I…
Read MoreYet, I Worried
Imagine living each day surrounded by reminders of the challenges you face. School, and therapy, and even Mom and Dad, all well-intentioned but whose best efforts revolve a great deal around examining those challenges, and how best to address them. And then there’s baby sissy. Who by all accounts doesn’t understand that Leo is considered “different” by some. She doesn’t see challenges, delays, or stims, or even lack of language as a negative…Instead, she hangs on every one of his vocalizations. Every stim and every move he makes. She doesn’t…
Read MoreThe R Word
Let’s talk about the “R” word. I hate this word. I hate that this word has become a norm for people to use, whether intentionally or jokingly. The R word is hurtful. The R word is mean. We’ve all said it. I’ve said it. Before I had Gracy, I was guilty of using this word as a way of lazily describing my feelings…how I felt about something or how I felt about someone. This all changed for me eight years ago. At 30 weeks (I think) pregnant, I was told…
Read MoreJust Like Any Other Seven Year Old Boy
He was sitting in the chair watching tv – just like any other 7 year old boy – and for just a moment it broke my heart because he isn’t like any other 7 year old boy. He has autism. He doesn’t talk. He can’t always make his hands go where you tell him to. He can’t tell you where he hurts. He isn’t potty-trained. There are so many things he can’t do – might never do – and if you start thinking about it, ‘what he can’t do’ can…
Read MoreThe Path to Normal
A few evenings ago I finally took the leap and joined an online Autism support group that I’ve been eyeing up for a very long time. It’s a smaller, more personal support community called Coops Troops, filled with interviews, live chats, videos, supports and resources for a small monthly fee. I had put off signing up for so long and kept finding myself pulled back to it; Coronavirus isolation pushed me to jump on it. So I leapt, finally, and with much excitement. I did not know that I was…
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