Guest Post
A New Diagnosis
The doctor said it. She said what I knew in my heart was true. I had been waiting over a year for this appointment and she confirmed what I have suspected since Joelle was eighteen months old. But how can something you saw coming still hurt so much? I knew when my second daughter wasn’t meeting her developmental milestones. As a nurse, I saw the red flags. At her eighteen month well visit, I brought up my concerns. When her pediatrician wanted to take a wait and see approach, I…
Read MoreMy Miracle Boy
On May 24th 2020 my entire world changed in a matter of moments. Since my son’s Autism diagnosis in February, I still had not said the words aloud, “my son has autism.” I would use phrases such as “he receives special services” or “he has special needs.” I had not gathered up enough strength to use the word Autism and Charlie with the same breath. I guess in my magical world the diagnosis wasn’t real until I said it was. I am honestly not sure how long I would have avoided…
Read MoreAn Open Letter to the Bullies of the World:
Dear Bullies, I wish I could say there is probably a reason for the hate in your heart but I won’t be able to do that. Your tough childhood or the excuse that hurt people in return hurt people are reasons wasted on me. You see there comes a time in our lives where we need to stop blaming others for the way we are and start learning from the difficulties of our past. YOU though are in a class of bullies all by themselves. The kind that would target…
Read MoreThe Dark Side
As a mother of a child with special needs, there are some things you just don’t say out loud. Because these things… these thoughts that occasionally loop on repeat over and over again in your head, well, they’re dark. They’re depressing. Sometimes, they’re downright scary. But these forbidden thoughts, these heartbreaking, gut-wrenching, soul-crushing thoughts that you’re often made to feel bad for having, they’re part of your reality. Part of your life. Part of the life that you didn’t choose. And if you dare speak of these dark, depressing, scary…
Read MoreThree “Simple” Words
I love you. Three simple words. Most of us throw them around loosely. Take them for granted. We say them when we hang up the phone. When a loved one leaves the house. When we kiss our little ones good night. Sometimes out of habit. It’s something a mother hears a million times.. over a lifetime. That is unless your child is… NONVERBAL. Then you might never hear it. One of those things that most don’t even think about. I have told my daughter “I Love You” everyday, multiple times…
Read MoreThe Stories We Share
We are just a few weeks away from celebrating the 6th anniversary Henry’s autism diagnosis. We celebrate now, but back then it was a different story. Six years ago, I was nervous and confused. I can admit it now, but I knew nothing about autism before his diagnosis. It’s hard to believe because autism is now my life and my work. But yes, at that point, I knew nothing more about it besides a few characters in TV and movies. Henry had a lot of the textbook signs back then:…
Read MoreDon’t Be Afraid of the Label
My son, Chase, started school a couple of weeks before his fifth birthday. He had never been in a school setting before. Had never been in a “structured” environment. That first year of school turned out to be, what I would say, just short of, a disaster. Chase was in trouble multiple times a week. I felt like I was getting a call at least once a day, and was in meetings every two to three weeks. I was told Chase had aggression and anger issues. Chase was throwing a…
Read MoreDid I Do Enough For Her?
When I found out my third baby was going to be a girl, I was really excited. I had two boys already and was curious how adding a little girl into the mix was going to be. I thought, and hoped, maybe my girl won’t have as many challenges that my boys had. I had a really good pregnancy with Grace. They didn’t find any anomalies in the womb like they did with her brother Daniel. She came on my scheduled due date unlike my son Nicholas who was born…
Read MoreFive Things I Wish I Knew Before An Autism Diagnosis
If you are new to this autism journey and are wondering how to process all the information out there, here are some things I wish I had known while going through the process. All autism characteristics do not all fit into a checklist. Many of the early signs of autism we recognized later in our son as he got older did not fit into the standard website search. Our son, at an early age, loved anything round. He carried around balls, round fruit, played with practically anything in the form…
Read MoreAn Apology to My Children
To my children – my little marvels, I am writing you this letter to tell you how sorry I am. But first and foremost I want you to know that I love you. You may already know by the time you read this that I am not the best communicator. I am generally quite articulate, I use long words and I can talk about complex issues. However, I am not good at making general conversation and I do not find it easy to talk about my feelings. Both of these…
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