Autism
Autism Is A Train
Sometimes I think of my son’s autism as a train. Which is fitting because he loves trains. He stands out and he is unique and loud and messy and amazingly awesome. Like a train. I mean, not everyone would choose to ride one either but when they do…I’m pretty sure it changes them forever. Because trains are the best. So, here we are, chugging along. Often slowly. It typically takes us a while to get going too. Sometimes we stop. But we always start again. The key being…we move forward.…
Read MoreLetter Of Intent
In the last week I have had two parents of teenagers on the spectrum tell me to write a letter of intent for my son. Before this week I had never heard that term. A letter of intent is a written document that will tell someone everything they need to know about Cooper if something happens to Jamie and I. It’s not a legal document but more of a guidebook. At first I was sad just thinking about it. But you have to get passed that part. You have to…
Read MoreMissing You
Today was different. For the first time since March, I let out the breath that I didn’t know I was even holding. COVID sure changed everything for us. When I entered the world of special needs parenting nine years ago, no one told me about how much it would change me. And demand so much from me all the time. So much so, that I’ve forgotten how to live any other way. They also didn’t tell me that I would get to enter a secret world. A magical one. One…
Read MoreGetting A Win
When I was first approached about joining Miracle League Baseball with my son, I said no way. Nope. It will never work. But my dear friend convinced me that it’s a blast and worth it and that I wouldn’t have the only ‘spirited’ child who refused to play. So, we joined. And it’s been amazing for our family. I have made friends, been humbled numerous times, and laughed out loud. Like tonight for example… A young gentleman told me I looked like his grandmother. The third baseman didn’t want anyone…
Read MoreGrowing Older Together
Yesterday, I had an out of body experience. I was walking along the river with my son Cooper and my husband. We had to get him out of the house, which has been nearly impossible to do since COVID. As we walked along, I held his hand. Every few seconds he would pull it away from me to do something on his iPad or point to a duck or flap his arms happily or hold two fingers up to remind me that his Amazon should be here today. I would…
Read MoreThe Choices We Make
Sawyer, Tonight you called me from dad’s truck after your hockey game. I answered, even though my hands were full. You screamed, ‘I scored a goal!’ into the phone. On my end I’m sure you heard screaming. But not in celebration. See I was in the middle of a brutal meltdown with your older brother. A scary one honey. No ones fault. Not his. Not yours. One like we haven’t seen in 15 months. Not since the last time. It was over the mail. And Amazon. And packages. I was…
Read More“Looks Like You Had A Great Time”
Today our family went for a boat ride. When we finally docked after being on the water for a few hours, a sweet older gentleman walked by, saw our three adorable kids and said…’looks like you had a great time?!’ Jamie and I both looked at him and said unanimously…’oh no! It was awful.’ But we said it with a smile and a laugh and the man couldn’t help but laugh with us. See, it was 57 degrees, windy, cloudy and cold. I had thought it would be a beautiful…
Read MoreTo Any Special Needs Parent Who’s Having One Of Those Days
Dear Special Needs Parent, I know some days are tough. You are beaten down. Your child is having a meltdown. Your teenager is having challenges at school and your young adult is desperately trying to be placed in a job or find somewhere to live. No matter what the obstacle is, we’ve all been there, special need parent or not. We want to run away at times because we wonder to ourselves “Will it get better? CAN it get better?” Your son can’t be bathed because of the texture of…
Read MoreManaging My Fears and Worries
I believe in honesty, transparency, and reality. So, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t scared about providing lifelong care to my son. And there are times when that fear can consume me. It will eat me up at 3 am if I let it. But I’m working on it. I’m working on managing my fears and worries. And I’m working even harder on teaching my son all that I can to help him achieve his greatest level of independence. I push. I pull. I teach. I hope.…
Read MoreTo the Mama Whose Baby Isn’t Starting School Today
To the mama whose baby isn’t starting school today. To the parent who is wondering if they should take the picture. And wondering if they should celebrate just another day. To the dad whose sending some kids back to school but not the others. To the parent feeling a twinge of sadness today. Or a lot. I understand Your child doesn’t go to a typical school. They go to therapy. There are no grade levels. Just continuous time. Or maybe they do but they aren’t really in a grade. On…
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