Autism
Cooper’s Treasures
See these things in my son’s hands? Most would probably call it junk. Or even garbage. To my son…it’s treasure. It’s nine pieces of construction paper. Two pages from a calendar. Four pages from a train guide book. 11 pages from a vintage train magazine. 12 empty DVD cases. These are his things. I told him to get ready for speech. He grabbed the necessities. They go everywhere we go. They go to the bathroom and to his bed. From couch to floor. They eat dinner with us. And if…
Read More30 Words
Since Covid started, and the world changed, me and a whole other bunch of parents have been trying to explain the unique ways it has impacted kids with special needs. We speak of loss of services and supports. We share stories of regressions and loss of skills. Some dare even share the harder parts. Often our stories are met with sympathy. Some shame. But we keep talking. We keep trying to get the world to see the hidden children. A few days ago it dawned on me that my son…
Read MoreThis Is Regression
I can’t tell you the last time this kid and I did a puzzle. It’s been a few months at least. I have a dozen excuses why. It’s summer and playing outside with a hose is way better. Covid hit and life got turned absolutely upside down and inside out. I am writing a book. Jamie is running a business. Sawyer is playing hockey and golf and flag football. The baby never stops moving. Then there is homeschooling. I’m not good at it. I want to be clear. It is…
Read MoreFinding Your Best Life
My son, you matter. I feel the need to say that today. Loudly. To all of these people who read about you. Who love you and want to learn about you. Not to remind myself. Or you. Because I know you are amazing. I know you love trains and paper and the movie Alpha and Omega. You sleep with six blankets every night and hug your brother every morning and like your chicken nuggets cut up. You love mail. And Amazon. And making noise. You are a person. A human.…
Read More‘Very Nice Boy You Have Here’
Yesterday my son rode the bus for the first time to school. I was nervous. I thought about getting in my car and following but didn’t because I knew it would be great. When the bus pulled in the driveway after his school day I was waiting as the big doors opened. My first question…’how did he do?’ See, as a mom of a kid who has struggled in the past, and still does at times, I was ready. I’ve built up this armor you could say. Waiting for the…
Read MoreThis Is Independence
Two weeks ago, this kid asked me to ride the bus. Sorta out of the blue. He verbalized it…’H-U-SSS.’ (B’s are hard for him.) He showed me busses on YouTube. He showed me busses in books. He pointed them out in the community. And me, being the mom I am, smiled, cheered, and thought…no way. I’m too scared. He’s too vulnerable. I can’t do it. Nope. But his dad, well he reminded me how I preach about independence. Nonstop. I want my son to make his own choices. I want…
Read MoreHe Did His Best
Today was a big day for this kid and our family. We went to the Afton Apple Orchard. You know the kind with lots of noise and people and waiting and walking. And we went as a family. We invited our friends to come along as well. See in our world, we need help. We know that now. We know our strengths and our weaknesses. And our Cooper, he requires both mom and dad sometimes. We had a lot of wins today. Cooper petted his first llama, sheep, donkey and…
Read MoreWe Are More
You must be sad… I’ve heard that phrase a few times over the past couple weeks. You must be sad your son rides the shorter bus… You must be sad he’s not in the gen ed room at school… And the zinger, the one I felt like a shot was fired and received, you must be sad you will never have a normal life… These statements, they don’t necessarily come from a place of hate or anger. They come from a place of misunderstanding. They simply don’t understand. I am…
Read MoreYou Will Be His Best Advocate
Sawyer, I am writing down the stories of you so that someday, when you are older, we can look back together at them. Sawyer, your brother Cooper started at your school last week. At first I didn’t know what you would think. Would you be nervous? Excited? Worried? Of course, you amazed me. Your response when I told you was….’now I can watch out for my brother, mama.’ You were so excited. I was a bit worried though. I want you to be a kid and not have to worry…
Read MoreDon’t Be Afraid of the Label
My son, Chase, started school a couple of weeks before his fifth birthday. He had never been in a school setting before. Had never been in a “structured” environment. That first year of school turned out to be, what I would say, just short of, a disaster. Chase was in trouble multiple times a week. I felt like I was getting a call at least once a day, and was in meetings every two to three weeks. I was told Chase had aggression and anger issues. Chase was throwing a…
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