Autism
Magic Forever
Last night we brought our three boys to a green house to pick out pumpkins. Our middle son was very excited. He loves all things holidays. He also loves overdoing things, much like his mama. 17 pumpkins seems totally reasonable to us. And the baby, he was in heaven toddling along with his brothers. Our older son Cooper, well, he was along for the ride. Pumpkins aren’t really his jam. That is until he realized that the green house had Christmas trees. So many Christmas trees. He immediately gasped and…
Read MoreLove Needs No Words
Here is my blue-eyed, blonde hair, sweet boy looking at me. He shows his love through his eyes. He may be unable to tell me he loves me verbally, but he shows me in his unique way. Thinking back three years ago, life was a lot different. It was the start of our autism journey. It was the start that our life would change forever. He was not making any form of eye contact. He would not interact with peers. He would always want to be left alone. It was…
Read MoreThe Autism Dad
I’d like to talk about The Autism Dad for a moment. You’ve probably come across him once or twice. It’s not always obvious at first. He’s the guy attempting a smile while his son screams. He is the man who holds his teenager’s hand as they walk down the street, oblivious to the stares. He is the father whose vision of coaching Little League and relaxing on Sunday afternoons sprawled in front of the football game have been replaced by sessions of Applied Behavior Analysis, and speech therapy. This…
Read MoreThe Ebbs and Flows of Autism
Early this morning our daughter came into our room, hopped into bed next to me, and began working on her intricate mindfulness sticker book. I watched as she elaborately and precisely filled out each piece of the picture, quicker than I ever could. A beautiful sight. I said “good morning, sweetie”, but did not get a noticeable response. Craving interaction, I asked her what she was making a picture of in her book. Sadly, again there was no response. So, I re-asked, even more enthusiastically— still no response. Then I…
Read MoreI Didn’t Have the Capacity For a Confrontation
Right after we moved into our current home, I registered to attend several open houses for homeschool co-ops and tutorials in this area. I will never, for as long as I live, forget one specific open house. As one of the teachers shared her plans for the fall semester, she referenced the potential number of students in her classroom based on the current number of interested families. “We have seven students…” she began. That number didn’t include Milo. I’d attended the open house with a friend who also had a son with special needs. That number didn’t include her child, either. Another teacher…
Read MoreThe Brave Ones
What is bravery? I’ve been thinking about that question lately. The definition is the quality or state of having or showing mental or moral strength to face danger, fear, or difficulty. It goes onto give examples of a brave firefighter. A brave nurse. A brave athlete. And no doubt, yes, they are brave. They face burning buildings and medical tragedies and catch the winning pass. They do things I could never do. They are brave. But I think about bravery in another way too. Imagine going out into a world…
Read MoreTo the Woman Who Stayed
To the woman who stayed… A week or so ago I found myself in a pretty tough situation out in the community. We were at an orchard with our family and friends. My son Cooper decided he was done. He was done with the apples and the tractors and the noise and sounds. And walking. Which is fine. He had done amazing. Except we were a mile away from the exit. His decision came out of nowhere. And we were stuck. My sweet misunderstood boy is 9 years old. Almost…
Read MoreOur Biggest Day
Lately, I’ve been sharing a lot of firsts for my son Cooper. Tonight, was the biggest one yet. He and I sat and watched an hour long flag football game together. He sat. He watched the timer. (Two 25 minute half’s is a long time!) He waved at his brother who was playing. He held my hand. He asked my 486 times for trains. And we were present. Together. A family of five. This wasn’t just any first. This was a first we have worked towards every day of his…
Read MoreI Never Stopped Talking To Him
Yesterday I interviewed my dear friend Leasa of Cody Speaks. If you don’t follow her you should. Her son Cody is 20. He loves videos and the mail. His autism was discovered when he was 17 months old. And he started talking at 9 years old. When she said that on the live, comments immediately came in asking what she did. What is the magic thing that got him to start talking? I understand because when I found Leasa and Cody, I asked the same question. My son was 7…
Read MoreHey You
Psst, hey. Look at me, I’m over here. Come close. I want to tell you something. You won’t win today. To be honest, I haven’t really noticed you in a while. I almost forgot about you. It seemed like the medicine was working and my son Jack was calmer and a little less agitated. Then, just last month, you returned with a vengeance—all ragged cuticles and sleepless nights. Anxiety. You would think I’d be used to you by now—that I could anticipate your next move, and figure out a solution,…
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