Autism
The Third Child
There is just something about the third child. I hear they rule the roost usually. And are often little stinkers. Both true for this one. Right now he’s two years old. The third boy. The boss. He loves Nerf Guns, monster trucks, and Blaze and the Monster Machine. He has the most pleasant personality of anyone I have ever met. He adores his brothers. He drives both of them bonkers too. Without fear. He lives on chocolate. I kid. But for real, he loves snacks and treats and raspberries. Getting…
Read MoreHe Waits for Me
For the last few weeks, I have been spending a lot of my time driving back and forth to visit my dad in the hospital. And it’s no short trip. It’s nearly 3 hours one way. This means I’ve missed being home when my boys get off of the bus. Which is okay, my dad needs me. And these boys are in more than capable hands with their dad. But it’s hard. It makes me feel out of wack, like I can’t get my bearings. I don’t like missing anything…
Read MoreTearing Down the Walls
I read a quote a while back that told older moms to be the friend they needed when they were younger. I think about it often in relation to my kids. My son Cooper is 10. He was diagnosed with autism 8 years ago. And later severe and nonverbal and a whole lot of other words were thrown into the mix. And overnight our world got a lot smaller. It seemed to shrink. It seemed to go on without us. And yet my son was exactly who he was born…
Read MoreBaby Shower
When I look at these photos from my baby shower I see so many amazing things. I see a group of women brought together by a little boy who has no idea the positive impact he is having on the world. I see women supporting women. I see strength. I see the loneliness I felt just a few years prior. I see lifelong friendships. And I see our kids growing up together. We have been brought together by our children and autism and I couldn’t be more thankful. Thank you…
Read MoreA Colorful Life
Children are survival pros. Immediately after birth, they usually come to their desired goal by screaming. I admit, the needs are still manageable and easily met: they are either hungry or thirsty, have a stomach ache or need a diaper change. As soon as the need is met and there is no longer an existential crisis, babies are relaxed. And so are the parents. When children get to the age in which screaming is no longer effective or has the opposite effect (“if you keep screaming, you won’t get anything!”), they change their tactics. Smart! They…
Read MoreThe Beginning of Our Autism Journey
When my first son Parker was born, he was a big baby with a ton of awesome hair. It was all I ever heard. People would say, “Look at all that hair!” I was one proud Dad! Not because of the hair, but because I always wanted to be a Dad! I was already starting to think about all the things we would do together. Play t-ball, pee wee football, soccer, basketball, hockey, go-karts, anything he wanted to do. He could grow up to be whoever he wanted to be,…
Read MoreBehold, the Autism Mama
My son Jack has autism. He was born on Mother’s Day, in 2004. Over the past sixteen-almost-seventeen-years, I have had to tell and re-tell his diagnosis so many times, I’ve lost count. By now, I’m pretty sure I’ve heard it all when it comes to autism. I’ve heard about the vaccines, and the poor maternal bonding, and the gluten and the horse therapy. One kindly older woman even suggested Windex could be to blame. Windex? I thought. The problem is, can be hard to know what to say, or how to…
Read MoreTo the Medical Mama: I now Understand
How many times have I watched from a distance, mostly from behind a screen, as special needs parents spent weeks or even months in the hospital with their child, and I’ve thought, “gosh, that’s got to be hard.” I had a limited understanding of how difficult an ordeal like that could be because my 16 year old son Luke has been extremely healthy for many years; healthy until last year when we spent 6 weeks in ICU with him after his shunt malfunctioned and then became infected after a new…
Read MoreHow to Treat a Child With Autism: Look to the Siblings
Happy Autism Awareness Month! I know the calendar has become saturated with bizarre days of observation, from National Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day, to International No Diet Day, to National Margarita Day (not mad about that one). But I happen to think a month to promote acceptance of people with autism and inspire a kinder world is worthwhile occasion. You probably know someone who’s autistic. Lucky you! I’ll always celebrate Autism Awareness Month because my littlest man, Rhys (pronounced “Reece,” like Reece Witherspoon), is autistic and very much deserves a month dedicated to…
Read MoreIt Could have Been the Last Time
See that voicemail from my dad? I just saw that it was there. I didn’t know until a few minutes ago. I find as my kids get older, and use my phone to watch videos, I lose track of people trying to contact me. The messages and voicemails build up without me knowing and when I finally look I feel terrible. Except that wasn’t the case this time. My dad called me last Tuesday afternoon. I sent him to voicemail because I was busy at the time. I was on…
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