I’m going to be real here. Throughout the frustration, the exhaustion, the tears and screaming, I really start to question how much I can handle sometimes. There are days where I really don’t want to get out of bed and face the day. There are days where I want to hide away, just for five minutes of peace. There are days where I want to scream and cry. There are days when I truly do think, ‘autism really sucks.’ Then, there is the feeling of guilt that for a brief…
At 9 months old, I knew there was something different about Zachary. At 17 months old I took it upon myself to get him started in feeding therapy, and then shortly after early intervention. At that early point in Zachary’s life everyone tells you, “he is fine…he is a boy, they take longer to do certain things” and all that extra fluff. As a nurse I knew differently, and as a mom I knew in my heart. Zachary will be 4 years old in April, which also means I have been a mom for that long as…
It’s time to get real and talk about public restrooms and people with disabilities. I created the video below to bring awareness and to talk about the problems my son faces in public restrooms. It’s a huge yet largely invisible problem. The fact that older children and adults do not have diaper-changing spaces in public places is so wrong. What if the rest of us had to lie on a dirty, public floor in order to take care of one of our most basic human needs? It’s just wrong. In…
The bleachers are a sea of orange shirts. I push my one year old back and forth across the crowds of people as I search for your class. We search for about ten minutes before I finally spot the sign for your school. I’ve never experienced the Special Olympics before but it is way more crowded than I expected and I am thankful that I put my squirmy toddler in a stroller otherwise I am pretty sure I’d be chasing her around the crowds. As soon as Isaac spots me,…
Dear Teacher, My son was the one you forgot to acknowledge at the concert last night. You said such nice things about all the other seniors that are graduating. You knew where they were going to college and had at least one personal thing to say about them. It was a really nice tribute. Many of these young adults will be going to Ivy League schools. I’m willing to bet that most of these students are top students with high academic marks. I’m fairly certain that these same students have…
The forgotten side of autism is something my son Cody lives every day. And as his mother, everyday I live the severe, nonverbal, sometimes even aggressive side. You hear so much about the children labeled autistic that go on to become speakers, lawyers or even doctors. And that’s amazing. However, that’s not our autism. I just want my son to be able to put his pants on the right way. I want my son to learn to bathe himself. I want my son to be able to tell me what…
Oh the difference a year can make. If you would’ve told me last May that my son would be where he is now…I would’ve probably thought you were crazy. I would’ve for sure cried. One year ago, our autistic son had MAJOR problems with school, eating, sleeping, behaviors, safety, communicating, ear infections and constipation. Jamie and I felt like we were failing. Or at least it felt that way. We couldn’t get help. We couldn’t get doctors to listen to us. We couldn’t get a team put together. We were…
To all the mommies out there with children on the Spectrum: You wake up so early every morning and your body is still exhausted from the previous day…week…month…year. You give yourself a pep talk, take a deep breath, and swing your legs over the side of the bed. If you’re super lucky, like me, your husband will have already brought up a hot cup of coffee and set it on the nightstand. You head downstairs and mentally prepare yourself for the battles and potential triggers that lay ahead. You keep…
I see my children’s interactions everyday. But there are some certain moments where I actually “see” it. The bond, the patience, and the unconditional love of a sibling to a special needs child. My dearest girl, For as long as I can remember I wanted to be a mom. I dreamt of you from the time I was a little girl carrying around my favorite baby dolls. I remember how elated I felt when we found out we were having a girl. I imagined the special moments we’d share; dressing…
“I would not change my son for the world. I would change the world for my son.” I came across this quote the other day and it reminded me: This is why I share my son’s story. There is so much about his autism experience that is out of my control. What I can do though is spread awareness and hope that it leads to a little understanding, patience and compassion. My son, Wilson, is four and a half years old and was diagnosed with autism at three and a…
