To my boys, It’s December. When I was a little boy I remember December being absolutely magical as it’s the month that houses both Christmas and my birthday. I recall the days leading up to the festivities, being excited and feeling the building anticipation. The snow on the ground, the Christmas decorations and potential school closings would add to the sense of wonder that surrounded the whole season. “Would I get to shovel snow in the morning?” That was seriously a question I would think on the regular. If that…
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I often think of my son’s autism as a journey. A journey that not only he is on, but our family as well. A journey with many, many challenges. And holes and cliffs. And of course it’s slippery. The hills have jagged rocks and most of the time I feel like I am hanging on for dear life. There is no safety harness or map. I typically don’t know if I am even going in the right direction. And perhaps at times I fear that I might be going backwards.…
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Dear mama, I want you to know that when you leave your child with me, he will be safe, loved, and encouraged. I want you to know that I see you and you are not alone. I also want you to know mom, that I see behind your smile and want to hug you every day. When you leave your child at my door I sometimes secretly hope that you are going to do something wonderful for yourself and that you don’t forget to take care of yourself. I want…
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At age seven my son has very few play skills and no imaginative play. This means keeping him entertained without technology is a real challenge. What I wouldn’t give to be able to say to my son, ‘go play.’ Right now that phrase doesn’t make sense to him. He needs to be taught the skills first. For years we have worked on puzzles and anything alphabet related. But both of those types of play meant that I was sitting next to him and engaging with him. I had hoped by…
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I read a blog post today. It was written by a super exhausted mama for the super exhausted mama. Which obviously caught my eye. That’s me. I work full time. Two kids. One with autism. Three dogs. Home owner. Friend. Daughter. Spouse. I spend my days sharing autism, advocating, attempting to have a social life, trying to drink enough water, playing with my kids, exercising, fighting with Cooper over eating and communication, cooking dinner, cleaning my house, wishing I could walk my dogs, get a good night sleep and pee…
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My son Cooper received his speech device when he was four years old. At the time I was overwhelmed by it. Not only did I feel the emotional strains of it I felt like getting one was such a huge commitment. Would it work? Should we try it? Will he even use it? I just didn’t know. I didn’t know how much energy I should put into advocating for a device either. I’ve felt this same way with many assistive technology devices. I wanted to try before buying. I recently…
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To my beautiful Austin, This time of year is always filled with memories of four years ago. Memories of you, our perfect newborn boy, the final member of our family. When I think back on these few years of your life, my mind often goes back to the very first time I saw you. I was only 12 weeks pregnant; too soon to know your gender. Or, so we thought. I went to the ultrasound by myself that day and was shocked that we were able to see that you…
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Dear Santa, What I want, can’t be bought in a store. No, what I want, means so much more. It’s something I have waited so long to hear. I really hope my wish is granted, this year. It seems to come so easily for most kids. I hope this wasn’t caused, by something I did. I have cried, and whispered many prayers. Sometimes, I feel like no one is there. The pain is real, and hard to bear. Please, Santa, show me that you care. I’m trying really hard to…
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This December I want to thank and honor the one child that defends my autistic daughter in school. I want you to know that I hear the positive things you are doing. I know you are sticking up for my daughter. And I can never thank you enough. My daughter Lillian was first diagnosed with autism when she was four years old. I had a hard time trusting this diagnosis because there wasn’t much testing done at all. We went the next few years without much help until Lillian was…
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A few nights ago, Jamie and I attended our four-year-olds first Christmas pageant. I can’t even tell you how excited I was to attend. Sawyer had been talking about it for weeks. I knew it was going to be special. Sawyer nailed it. Just like he always does. He stood, sang, participated and hammed it up. And we watched. It was wonderful. It was pretty special to watch him. My little Sawyer’s first Christmas concert. He’s a star! And also appears to have some emotions midway through. He’s on the…
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