This afternoon, on a beautiful Sunday, I found myself in my son Sawyer’s bedroom unpacking a box full of children’s books. Sawyer was sorta helping me. Chatting away nonstop while watching his Kindle, loading his Nerf Gun and reading a book. Every few minutes Cooper would appear. Sometimes he’d sit down next to me. Sometimes he’d grab my face and show me something on his Kindle or point to something outside. And then, like a flash he’d be gone. This is what Cooper does. He wanders. Always close. Never far.…
Today, I want to talk about the future. I want to talk about how we are preparing ourselves and Cooper to have success as he ages. For years I wondered what it looked like. Would Cooper talk? Would he live on his own? Would he be potty trained? Would he have self care? No one could tell me. And often, if I brought it up, people outside my world would say I was being negative. That I should stop thinking about the future. So, for a while I stopped. And…
Our world is completely different than it was less than a week ago. A week ago we lived in a neighborhood without any children. So, our five year old son Sawyer really depended a lot on mom and dad for entertainment. He had a bit more screen time than he probably should have. He often told me he was lonely. He wanted more friends. This week, we live in a new house in a neighborhood full of children. All kids Sawyer’s age. All wanting to play and have fun. On…
It was totally unexpected when it happened. June 23rd. The night my six year-old son realized he has autism. He didn’t know the exact word yet, but he knew viscerally what it meant to be “different.” It was the first weekend of summer break, and my two boys and I were visiting my best friend and her two boys. It was bedtime, and he was tired. As I was trying to convince him to go brush his teeth, he suddenly collapsed in bed beside me, groaning, his body convulsing. His…
As of Saturday our family is officially moved into our new home! I wanted give all you wonderful people an update. I know many of you genuinely care about our family and how Cooper is doing. Can I just say moving is hard with or without an autistic child. It’s exhausting. It’s so much work. It’s expensive. There are also so many variables that can go wrong and we actually had a few on the day of closing. It all worked out though. Thank goodness. If it hadn’t we would…
In this video I discuss how fantastic my son is doing right now. He is happy, healthy, and thriving in every area. Every day continues to be the best and happiest day of his life. Our family feels calm and relaxed. It’s been an amazing few months. But, we also realized that Cooper has literally only been going to and from therapy and to visit families houses. That is it. Otherwise, he is home. We want and need him to be able to have successful outings outside of our home.…
As we come to the end of Autism Awareness Month, I feel inclined to write this. I have read opinions from both sides of the fence on this topic that are in abundance lately (probably something to do with Autism Awareness Month, ya think?), so I feel the need to offer up my two cents. I know you can hardly contain yourself! I, like many other autism parents, follow a lot of Facebook support pages and other social media pages for parents who have children on the spectrum, as well as various other bloggers. I have seen several…
Yesterday, Jamie pulled me aside and asked if I thought Cooper was acting more autistic than usual. I told him no. Now before you gasp at that statement, know that it comes from love. And an increase in autistic type behaviors means pain, anxiety and other areas of concern. If we see him all of a sudden head hitting, lining up objects, closing doors, etc., we know that something is wrong. And we dive in and try and figure it out. When a child is not verbal and not able…
There is an emotion that lives inside me now that I can’t really describe. It’s a mix of heartache, anxiety, helplessness and a feeling of being overwhelmed. There is actually a term for it. It’s called “Chronic Sorrow”. I feel sometimes like I live a double life. One with my older girls and friends being myself and another in this adaptive world we have created for our daughter Isla. Even when I am away from autism…I still feel like I live it. There is no escape and I have changed. I…
This morning Sawyer had a family breakfast at his preschool. When we initially saw the invite we knew that if both Jamie and I wanted to attend we’d have to make arrangements for someone to watch Cooper and bring him to school. At this time, he is unable to attend an event such as this. It’s our reality. He doesn’t sit or participate. He isn’t safe. And it would make the experience not enjoyable for Sawyer. And that’s not fair. When I think about our family, one of my greatest…
