It happened this year… I got a Christmas miracle! When you have a kiddo with autism, or delays of any kind, there’s this period of grace. It’s the season of life where adults (for the most part) have or gain some knowledge. It’s the season of life where older kiddos are curious and learn something new. It’s the season of life where kiddos of the same age and younger don’t have a clue. At family gatherings, kiddos just play. Side by side, sometimes joining in, most often not. Fun is…
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Kylie, My Daughter, In a few weeks, you’re turning 10. Oh, baby girl, if I could only somehow let you see yourself through my eyes, you would understand how the years pass so quickly. Just yesterday, I was snuggling you up to my chest, breathing in your new baby smell. Then I blinked and before me stood YOU: an opinionated, passionate, kind, witty girl. When you were a toddler, I remember you walking confidently into Sunday School. You never cried. You simply trusted us to always be there for you,…
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I went to a funeral yesterday. It seems as I get older, and my family gets older, I am attending more and more funerals. I guess that’s the nature of growing older. Thankfully, if there can be a thankfully, they are funerals for beautiful souls that have lived long, wonderful lives. So, more of a celebration of life I guess. My Son As I sat there yesterday, I looked around and saw many faces I knew and many I didn’t. Ages ranged from babies to nineties. I found myself staring…
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I had one of those ‘this is how it should be’ parenting moments this morning. I was able to bring my four-year-old to preschool today. We weren’t in a hurry and chatted as we drove. When we arrived, we walked in together. He took off his boots, hung up his bag and jacket and went and sat down and played. I spoke with his teacher, looked at his artwork and so on. And then I left. Sounds so simple, right? I’ve never had an experience like that with my autistic…
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I watch you so often struggling, and I see you getting the short end of the stick far too often. But I hope that one day you will understand that your Mom loves you and that I tried the best that I could. I had so many dreams of being your Mom. I was going to read fabulous literature to you. I was going to champion your every effort. I was going to have home cooked delicious meals for you every night. I was going to ensure that you had…
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The idea of forever is very different when you have a child with special needs. Will my child ever living on their own? Will they have self care? There are times when I will look at my son and think, ‘this might be okay.’ He might learn to understand safety. He might learn to communicate his wants and needs. He might, maybe someday, be able to stay home alone. But in all honesty, the future is unknown. I don’t know if these things will ever happen. And as parents we…
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Dear Holden, Your mama is a numbers person. As are you! I have “data” in my work title and I thrive on knowing things through their relationship to others. So when I heard that you were “on the spectrum” I did not find that explanation to be terribly satisfactory. Where, exactly, on the spectrum were you? I had this new information about you and yet it seemed to tell me absolutely nothing. So, I went looking for numbers and, honey, what I found was not good. An estimated 75-85 percent…
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Autism. That word describes so many people. So many…different people. Have you heard the saying, “If you have met one person with autism, you have met that one person with autism?” How true is that? If you live on this roller coaster ride, that is autism, you know this to be true. You can’t talk to someone else about their journey, and expect yours to go the exact same way. You just take YOUR journey, one day at a time. I had to learn this, the hard way. “When did…
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Play doesn’t come easily for some children. My son Cooper is a perfect example. He is seven years old, on the spectrum and has never played with a toy typically. Playing is so important for brain development, socialization, imagination, etc. I remember filling out evaluation after evaluation before my son was diagnosed and always checking ‘never’ to ‘does he play?’ It was scary and not something we could not fake. Even after years of encouraging and practicing play, we can walk through the toy aisle at Target and he will…
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“Did you pack the toothbrushes?” When we met each other’s eyes we realized neither of us had. This sentence means something different for our in family. Our toothbrushes were in fact tucked away neatly into a side pocket of my bag. But we have a separate grouping of toothbrushes. A special one, just for our son Cormac. It started small. When Cormac was first diagnosed at 18 months he exhibited many sensory seeking behaviors and had not yet delved in the graces of therapy or Early Intervention. He was chewing…
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