Autism is hard! Hard for the diagnosed individual, the siblings, the family and on a marriage. When we said “I do” we never expected to embark on an autism journey and we definitely didn’t envision the vows “in sickness and in health” would apply to our unborn child. Autism has challenged our marriage in ways we could never imagine and it has enriched our marriage in ways nothing else could. I could share some of the many autism moments, experiences, pitfalls, disappointments, lessons, achievements, challenges, and wins that got us…
If you live in a city apartment and don’t have your own backyard, the playground is THE place for kids to burn some energy and let off steam. Every other day we pack cookies, water, and a soccer ball and head to my most feared opponent. The park is packed with laughing children. Parents stand in groups and exchange the latest neighborhood gossip. Some have made themselves comfortable on carefully arranged picnic blankets, setting up a snack buffet that could feed half of the city. Others sit in the sand…
A thank you letter to my Son… Being an older brother to a sibling with severe autism has not always been easy. It’s a job you never asked for but you took with stride. At times it was a very difficult and that is putting mildly. Thank you for loving your little sister wholeheartedly. You were her light in the darkest of times when her life was filled with sensory overload, when nothing made sense to her little body and she was completely overwhelmed by our world. When she would…
A life partner or soulmate is a person who accepts you for exactly who you are without the desire to change or fix you. There is a deep and unspoken respect between both partners. Your strengths compliment theirs and you hold each other tightly during challenging times. The healthiest relationships are rooted in open and frequent communication. Following my first marriage, it took time for me to feel comfortable in my own skin and redefine what truly makes me happy. Although I burdened myself with the assumption that I’d be a single…
When I walked into the store, you were standing in the produce section near the fruit. The first thing I noticed about you was your jacket. I love that color blue, and it looked nice with your dark hair. I walked past you, and I almost tripped over an empty basket someone had left in the middle of the aisle. I glanced over my shoulder and I smiled. I rolled my eyes a little. “Who would leave their basket like this?” You looked up from your bag of apples, and…
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On Saint Patrick’s Day, I got up at 3:00 a.m. had our bags packed the night before, ready for a trip with my baby girl to visit family in Montana. I filled a carry-on bag with new toys, snacks, hand sanitizer, charged headphones, and of course, our masks. That morning I woke up our two-year-old Nora, she meet me with a doe eyed look but was in good spirits. I changed her into a cute black shirt with toile on the bottom and slipped on a black hoodie paired with…
“Maybe if you didn’t baby him, he would talk more.” Seven years ago, spoken by a person long since absent from our world, yet the words remain a stinging reminder of the blame imposed on mothers of children with special needs at various junctures of our journeys. Self- blame, along with the judgement of others often intertwine, creating an incredibly crippling feeling of guilt; unyielding at times, as we as parents…as moms, attempt to navigate the challenges associated with raising a child on the spectrum. Merely a half a century…
Yesterday was a warm day and a sweet reminder that better days are on their way. Seagulls dipped down low over the playground where my children played. The air carried the ocean smell and the sounds of children laughing despite a Pandemic. The best sound is children laughing. I pushed my neighbor’s child on a tire swing and I had my eyes on my son. I knew my daughter was across the playground with a friend and her mother. The sun was warm against my face and I felt happy.…
Hello! I see you down there. You must be a fellow special needs mom. We can recognize each other you see. I know where you are right now because I’ve been there, and I’ll be there again. I know that the hole you are in is deep, and it’s dark and it’s scary. I know it feels like you will never get out, like you will never feel the warmth of the sun on your face again. Never feel joy. Hope. I know that you are trying to figure out…
