I’ll sit with you in the dark, when you know, but you have to wait. Wait for others to believe you. Wait for insurance approvals. Wait for evaluations. Always waiting to hear what you already know. I’ll sit with you in the dark when you feel alone. When others tell you they’ll pray for you. When they tell you stories of how they know someone who knows someone. When they tell you that God gives special kids to special people. When they tell you, “but they’re so cute” or “they’re…
I can remember when the first signs of autism started popping up. I was in the dark. I did not know anyone who was going through what I was going through. I did not understand how to help Kyle and how to feel. I did not know which direction to go in. I was completely alone and in the darkness. I would sit in the shower and close my eyes. I could feel the water dripping down my face washing away the tears. I could hear the water pounding against…
They said, “your son has the highest needs of anyone in the school”. And as a mother, what I heard was, “your son is the most challenging child we have”. Like an almost “admission of irritation” on their part; Or so it felt. That statement wasn’t necessary. In a meeting that I called; me, myself, as a concerned parent, as a special needs Mother, those words didn’t need to fall from anyone’s lips. Because it’s a statement made without a practical solution. Unnecessary. “Your son has the highest needs of anyone…
My name is Carrie, and I have five kids. My second son has autism. His name is Jack. He is sixteen. Autism impacts the way he eats, sleeps, learns, and moves. Let me tell you what else autism does. It takes a perfectly ordinary activity, and smudges it with its greasy fingerprints. It turns up the volume, and makes everything so bright and glaring, you have to squint to see any of the goodness that might be left. There is no manual for this—for figuring out how to clear through…
‘They grow up overnight.’ As parents, I think we’ve all heard that sentiment. ‘The days are long but the years are short.’ That one is my favorite. And it’s so true. I have three boys. Cooper is ten years old. I blinked and here we are. Sawyer is 8 and the little one is 2 going on 13. We are just your typical family. With the color of autism woven in. One of my goals is to talk about the things I’ve learned being a mom to a unique boy.…
I do not have autism. I am not autistic. But my son is. Being his mom in no way makes me expert. But I do my best. I try so hard to be the best mom I can possibly be to him. Autism feels confusing to me a lot of the times. I believe we live in a black and white world for the most part. And my son lives in color. Blues and reds and yellows and greens. We, his dad and I, have navigated autism for ten years…
Today is World Down Syndrome Day. I am going to make a statement that I know is controversial. People may come at me in the comments. But anyone that knows me knows I am honest, sometimes to a fault. I hate disability awareness days. Wait. Before you take your shock and disgust to the comments, let me explain. I have built my career, my character, who I am and what I stand for, on advocating for those with disabilities. All individuals with disabilities. Not every disability has an awareness day.…
Fifth grade holiday concert. I found the perfect soft corduroy pants with a hidden elastic waistband and comfy red pullover that you will tolerate. We rehearsed the songs endlessly at home for weeks. You teacher assured me you have been practicing the song all week in the gymnasium and will have a para escorting you through the whole program. We anxiously wait in the audience – a sea of parents with cellular cameras and camcorders rolling. Maybe I can get a good shot of you to put on the holiday…
See that boy on the left? The one in blue… He is 8 years old. He is in 2nd grade. At least once a week he tells me he can’t wait to be a grown up so he can ride dirt bikes and do whatever he wants. But he also reminds me he is never moving out. He plans to live in the backyard. We had his school conference last night. His teacher told us all about his test scores for math. We talked all about developing skills versus proficient…
As I near my due date with my fourth baby, and slowly lose my mind daily with the three I already have, I find myself thinking a lot about mothering. And all that goes into it. Here are a few of the things I’ve learned along the way: 1. Having children is like having the worst roommates sometimes. They move your stuff, eat your food, and leave dishes all over the house. Try to remember though that messes clean up. 2. Your children can be just like you, or polar…
