Kindness is the Most Important Thing to Me

sawyer 7

See that boy on the left? The one in blue…

He is 8 years old. He is in 2nd grade. At least once a week he tells me he can’t wait to be a grown up so he can ride dirt bikes and do whatever he wants. But he also reminds me he is never moving out. He plans to live in the backyard.

We had his school conference last night.

His teacher told us all about his test scores for math. We talked all about developing skills versus proficient and the impact this challenging year had on kids.

We reviewed his book report and giggled that he chose Connor McDavid to research. He is truly a hockey kid at heart.

We discussed reading at length and how Sawyer still hasn’t found his love for books. And how we can motivate him more.

And then his teacher said, ‘That’s enough about academics. I want to make sure you both understand that your son is an absolute pleasure to have in class. He is kind and inclusive. He cares about others and their feelings. And you should see how his eyes light up when he sees his older brother in the hallway. He beams with pride.’

And with that I smiled hugely and felt the tears gather in my eyes.

Reading, writing, and math are very important. No one would argue that they are not. But to me, as a mom, kindness is number one.

So much so that every morning when Sawyer leaves the house I pepper him in a dozen kisses all over his hair and tell him to be kind.

I never miss a day. Not for the kisses or my instruction to be kind. Some mornings I whisper it in his ear. Other mornings I yell it down the driveway.

I don’t say it for show or likes. I say it because being kind is the most important thing to me.

Having a child with a disability changed many things in my life. And he opened my eyes to the world around me. He gave me the gift of sight. I see the good everywhere. And I see the evil.

We have a choice people. And I choose kindness in everything I do. My kids will be the same.

Yesterday, as Sawyer walked away he said…’Mom, don’t forget to donate to that cancer foundation today…the one my school is sponsoring. It’s important mom. Those kids need us.’

He’s a keeper that one.

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.

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Kate Swenson

Kate Swenson lives in Minnesota with her husband Jamie, and four children, Cooper, Sawyer, Harbor and Wynnie. Kate launched Finding Cooper's Voice from her couch while her now 11-year-old son Cooper was being diagnosed with autism. Back then it was a place to write. Today it is a living, thriving community of people who want to not only advocate for autism, but also make the world a better place for individuals with disabilities and their families. Her first book, Forever Boy, will be released, April 5, 2022.

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