Keep Moving Forward

So, I am sitting here, once again thinking about progress. And how important it is to stand still and reflect on much can change in a year. See, we stood still for years in the progress department. Any movement felt backwards. As a mom, I simply could not figure out how to get us moving forward. I felt like I was beating my head against a wall at times. But time, it has a way of happening. And all of a sudden, I look back and realize, we are in…

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A Thank You Letter To Bubba’s Twin Brother

Dear Braidan,  My sweet little buddy…  I’m not sure there are words to describe just how truly thankful I am for you and everything you do for your brother…but I’m going to give it a try.  Since the day I brought you and Ethan home from the hospital, you have been inseparable. You’d want to be close to each other touching and cuddling.  You’d steal each others binkies and giggle at the silliest things.  I loved it!  Sissy loved taking turns feeding you and helping you both learn new things… …

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Autism is Joy. So Much Joy.

Autism.  It’s not glamorous, easy, or fun.  It’s cancelling plans you’d been looking forward to, and not wanting to explain because you don’t want pity or sympathy… Or even worse…someone acting like they understand something that you have to live to grasp.  It is size 7 diapers at three and a half, and fearing having to put your squishy cheek little boy in adult diapers. It’s baby gates, high chairs, and it’s closed top cups. It is toys still in boxes because your son would rather spin the wheels on…

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Stay Humble and Kind my Lovely Daughters

Dear Elena, Sage and Kimber,   I thank you for your compassion and unconditional love. Your little sister has taught you so much in your short years. Her Autism has challenged you to learn patience, and then laughter. It has taught you a sixth sense of protection and selflessness.  You are blessed, you see not many kids or even adults understand this.  Her mischievous smile and laugh bring you back to simplicity. At your age I didn’t have these responsibilities that you so readily help me with.    She has taught you more in…

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They Will Always Have Each Other

On particularly emotional parenting days I’ll watch them sleep. Brothers. Two years apart. One on a typical path with friends, sports, and 1st grade. The other on his own path. Doing everything at his own pace. They share a bed. Neither one acknowledging the other one until bedtime. 8:30 will roll around. Sawyer will still be in the backyard hitting baseballs or riding his bike over a jump with his friends. Like clockwork, Cooper will look around, grab his blanket with one hand, put his other hand on his check…

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The Beauty in a Sibling

Because of our son Jack’s autism and sensory issues, one of the most difficult tasks for him is spending time at doctor’s appointments. When we bring him, he has severe anxiety; accompanied by lots of tears, screaming, tantrums and sometimes self-injurious behavior. It is heart breaking. Now, this may sound crazy…but because of this, in addition to all of his own appointments, I make sure to bring Jack to all of his siblings visits as well. You’re probably thinking WHY?! Right? Well, I do this in hopes to desensitize Jack…

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To the Mama who Wonders Why

I’m giving you this baby. He won’t be like the other ones. Maybe you’ll know from day one. Maybe it will take time. But eventually, you come to realize that something is different. It’s going to be hard at first. Not the love part. That part will be easy. But the fight to figure out what and why. That part will leave you depleted in a way that feels almost impossible to explain. You will be pushed to your limits. You are going to question everything you’ve ever done and…

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A Crystal Ball

Most parents would enjoy looking through a crystal ball to see what their child’s future looks like.  What will your child’s life look like in 10 years? 15? Their wedding? The day your first grandchild is born?  And finally how your children are doing when you are no longer around. You don’t want to wish the days away, but getting a peak would be so fun! Maybe 10 years from now they will be turning 18.  Will they be heading off to college? trade school? getting a full time job?…

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Battling Anxiety and Depression When Birthday’s Come

I think it is very safe to say that most parents of children with autism are battling anxiety or depression…or a bit of both, depending on the day. How couldn’t we? From the time our children were tiny and specialists noticed they were ‘different’, we have been fighting every day of our lives. Fighting for them to receive the therapies they need. Fighting to have them included in this world. Fighting to teach them all they need to know so that hopefully…one day…they ‘might’ catch up. And this is where…

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My Son, Always Be Kind

Sawyer could hardly contain his excitement as we entered the gym for his friend’s birthday party. Hockey, basketball, cake and a bounce house. It doesn’t get much better than that in the eyes of a six-year-old. He dropped his present on the table as I checked him in. I caught him just before he ran off. I bent down on my knee to check his shoe laces and give him a quick hug. As I stood up I said the same thing I say every single time I leave my…

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