The Beauty in a Sibling
Because of our son Jack’s autism and sensory issues, one of the most difficult tasks for him is spending time at doctor’s appointments.
When we bring him, he has severe anxiety; accompanied by lots of tears, screaming, tantrums and sometimes self-injurious behavior.
It is heart breaking.
Now, this may sound crazy…but because of this, in addition to all of his own appointments, I make sure to bring Jack to all of his siblings visits as well.
You’re probably thinking WHY?! Right?
Well, I do this in hopes to desensitize Jack to many of the things that set him off, to show him that his siblings are OK when the doctors check them out, and assure him that everything is OK when it’s his turn to spend time with a doctor.
We work together with “first/then” charts, lots of verbal reassurance, activities, to distract while we wait, etc.
And even though he is just an observer, these appointments mostly consist of Jack yelling “No Jack! No doctor!” over and over again while I hold him tightly on my lap and feel his heart beating a mile a minute.
Inevitably there comes a point where I question myself and wonder why I put him, myself and the other kiddos through what seems like torture at times.
Then, there are rare moments in time where I take a step back and see the beauty in it all.
Hear me out…
Tonight at the girls follow up appointment from their surgery, Jack had a slight melt-down after watching one of the doctors look in Maddie’s nose with a bright light.
She assured Jack that she was alright and asked him for a hug, which became a sister sandwich after Lali quickly followed suit and hugged sweet Jack as well.
You see, Jack’s siblings have learned to take on the role of making sure their brother is OK, comforted, unconditionally loved and supported.
In turn, Jack feels safe, loved and reassured by some of the most important people in his life.
How beautiful is that?
Our journeys all look so different.
But, whatever that journey looks like for you, when you’re supported and loved – gosh darn it, my friends, it makes a world of difference, doesn’t it?
Written by, Vanessa France
Vanessa France is a working mama of 4 children – ages 9, 8, 6 and 3. She’s a self proclaimed hot-mess mom trying her best to raise polite and happy humans all while documenting the beautiful, messy world of motherhood on social media. Vanessa works in Hospice full-time and runs her own skincare business on the side with Rodan + Fields, where she loves to share amazing products and a work from home business opportunity with others looking for more. You can follow Vanessa on Facebook, on Instagram, for her skincare line and on her website.
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