My Son, Always Be Kind

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Sawyer could hardly contain his excitement as we entered the gym for his friend’s birthday party.

Hockey, basketball, cake and a bounce house. It doesn’t get much better than that in the eyes of a six-year-old.

He dropped his present on the table as I checked him in.

I caught him just before he ran off.

I bent down on my knee to check his shoe laces and give him a quick hug.

As I stood up I said the same thing I say every single time I leave my son somewhere.

I say it before he gets on the bus and before he runs out the door to play.

‘Be kind kid. Look for someone who needs a friend.’

He said ‘yeah mama. I know. Love you too.’ And then he was gone in the sea of kids.

As I turned to leave I made eye contact with a parent I didn’t know. I smiled. And started on my way.

‘I have never heard that before. I mean as a goodbye. Be kind. Do you say that often?’

‘A dozen times a day’, I responded.

‘That’s amazing,’ he said.

I said, ‘It’s what matters right?’

We chatted a bit more and then parted ways. But not before he told me he was going to start saying that to his kids going forward.

I say this to my son, my busy, social, out-in-the-world son because he is so blessed and so lucky in his life.

He sees the secret world that we live in and he gets to go out and have an impact on the rest of the world.

I want him to be kind. I want him to be a helper. And find the kids that need love.

Sometimes I wonder if I would be so conscious about kindness if I didn’t share my world on social media.

Or if my other son didn’t have significant needs that can make him an easy target for exclusion and even bullying.

I sometimes wonder if I’d be different if I didn’t know. Would I care so much about inclusion. And kindness.

I like to think yes. That I’ve always been kind. But I’ll tell you this.

Seeing the cruelty in this world towards people with differences is eye opening. It’s unbelievable really.

I truly believe I’m lucky. Because I know what’s important now. I thank my kids for that. My Cooper especially.

He has taught us so much. And my Sawyer bug, he gets to help influence the world with his kindness.

That’s a pretty great thing if you ask me.

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.

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Kate Swenson

Kate Swenson lives in Minnesota with her husband Jamie, and four children, Cooper, Sawyer, Harbor and Wynnie. Kate launched Finding Cooper's Voice from her couch while her now 11-year-old son Cooper was being diagnosed with autism. Back then it was a place to write. Today it is a living, thriving community of people who want to not only advocate for autism, but also make the world a better place for individuals with disabilities and their families. Her first book, Forever Boy, will be released, April 5, 2022.

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