Posts by Kate Swenson
Someday, You’ll Tell Me
Cooper, this morning was just like every other morning. You woke up happy as usual. Had breakfast, got dressed with Dad’s help, put your shoes (all by yourself!) and your coat on, negotiated 75 treasures to bring to school, and then you were gone. I yelled ‘I LOVE YOU’ ridiculously loud and stole a hug and 3 kisses before you darted out the door. Y ou grunted in response like you usually do. I then asked you to repeat ‘I Love You’ like I do every day. You willingly try.…
Read MorePlease Make Room For Us
Last Tuesday started like every other day. I woke up way too early, tried to coax my son Ben back to sleep for an hour and lost that battle. Then, I gave in, got up and got ready while trying to keep him entertained. I woke up Caleb and shuffled both boys off to daycare. It’s the story most working moms could tell every single day. It was my usual stress, the usual morning hustle, but then someone stopped me in my tracks, both figuratively and literally. The boys’ daycare…
Read MoreThe Hardest Thing You Will Ever Wait For
We all wait for things. Waiting is a normal part of every day life. Sometimes the waiting is fun and exciting. But sometimes, it’s agonizing. Maybe you are waiting to hear back from a college that you applied too. Or about a job interview. Maybe you are waiting for your partner to pop the question while every single one of your friends is getting engaged already. Maybe you are waiting until the time is right to have kids. Until everything is in order. Or maybe you are waiting month after…
Read MoreI Sorry I Did That
We had a few years as a family that were extremely difficult. It used to make me cry any time I talked about it, so I usually didn’t. Leland’s toddler years were rough. I don’t mean in the terrible twos kind of way. It was more like non-stop screaming, kicking, growling, hitting, with no words kind of way. My husband and I spent countless hours researching and trying different supplements, therapies, and such. We were desperate for anything that would help. We basically stopped going places or doing things. We…
Read MoreFive Years…Thank You Village
When my son was born I kept hearing the phrase, “It takes a village to raise a child”. I never understood it until my son was diagnosed with autism. When we finally heard the words, “Your son has autism spectrum disorder” from the doctor, I had to text my family because I knew I couldn’t get through a conversation without bursting into tears. Even though we knew he had it, it isn’t real until you hear it from the doctor. The next day my parents came over and the first…
Read MoreA Disorderly Night Before Christmas
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the houseNot a creature was stimming, still this mom pouts;Her stockings were flung to the floor without care,In hopes this year’s Christmas Day stress she can bear; The child was nestled all snug in mom’s bed (sigh),While visions of numerous wine glasses danced in her head;She wonders who invented toy packaging and thinks he needs a slap,Here comes the cursing, and her cleanest word is “Crap!” As the sound of her tearing through plastic makes a huge clatter,She prays no child wakes…
Read MoreA Letter to my Son on his 9th Birthday…
My sweet boy, today is your birthday. 9 years old. I know it sounds silly, but I almost can’t believe it. All moms say that I suppose. But with you, it’s true. Time in our world is different. Fast. Then slow. Then backwards. Even upside down. It has even stopped. Man those were some tough years. But you and I both know that age is just a number. And milestones are just another checklist we don’t pay any attention too. Because you my son, are different. Perfectly, amazingly different. You…
Read MoreMom, Dad, You have not Failed
I had the honor of meeting with a doctor today. A very important doctor. I was telling him all about my Cooper. What we’ve been through. I started at the beginning. He didn’t sleep. Not ever. Everyone told me it would get better. They said I was exaggerating. Only I knew I wasn’t. I told him it took Cooper six years to sleep through the night. And even today, it’s still a struggle. I told him about the burst ear drums. One after another. How no doctor would get close…
Read MoreWhat is a Brother?
What is a brother? Funny question right? Do brothers have to play together? Or talk? Or spend time together? Do they have to do those things? For the first three years of Sawyer’s life, he followed his older brother around. First by crawling. Then walking. Finally running. See, Cooper never stopped moving. Not ever. Sawyer thought it was a game. Cooper would run from room to room, tearing apart beds, putting garbage cans and shampoo bottles in the bathtub, emptying bookshelves and so on. From room to room he’d go.…
Read MoreA Third Baby
Yesterday morning, as my two boys were snuggling, I asked my 6-year-old son a few questions. ‘Sawyer, are you happy we had another baby?’ ‘Yes mama.’ ‘What do you love about him?’ ‘He’s so cute and small. And he’s a boy.’ ‘Is there anything else?’ ‘Yes.’ (silence) ‘What is it buddy?’ ‘I’m not lonely anymore mama.’ I felt like I’d been punched in the stomach. My old soul in the body of a five year old boy. How did I not know he was lonely? My husband and I do…
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