Posts by Kate Swenson
A Bittersweet Sixteenth Birthday
My son Brian’s birthday is next week. 16 years. 16 love-filled anxiety ridden years. 16 years that I could never have predicted in my most worrisome of scenarios, but the 16 years I’ve grown the most in my life. Some times you need knocked around to know what you are made of and knocked around is exactly how I feel as we turn the calendar to Brian’s birthday month. Brian’s birthday, 12-12, is the most bittersweet day of the year for me. It is more meaningful than any holiday, anniversary, or…
Read MoreHe Must Be Outgrowing It and Other Things Not To Say
One of the challenging parts of high functioning autism is the way its seen and understood by the outside world. Most of the time the child’s diagnosis is not immediately apparent to the people they encounter. You may notice a speech delay, some difficulty with communication and social situations, lack of social comfort, sensory issues, short attention spans, narrow interests, and being prone to tantrums or meltdowns, just to name a few. Every child on the spectrum is different from the next and should not be compared just because you…
Read MoreThe Gift of Perspective
This ‘ten year challenge’ social media trend has me reflecting. There’s a lot of living and learning I went through over the past decade. I finished university, survived my first heartbreak, started my teaching career, gained and lost important relationships, bought and sold two homes, navigated the shock of a miscarriage, found my way back to that guy who broke my heart, had a daughter with and married him, battled through the Autism diagnosis of my toddler and started on an unexpected journey of special needs parenting. Today, I found…
Read MoreThe Things Special Needs Parents Should be Talking About
There is a part of this special needs parenting thing that I’ve been thinking a lot about lately. I never thought about it when he was younger. Honestly, it never occurred to me as a thing to think about. I was so focused too. Focused on helping him in the moment. So this never occurred to me. But now that he’s almost 9, and we can breathe, and he’s at peace, it’s starting to creep in. This thing. This new worry. It’s seeping in around the edges of my acceptance.…
Read MoreWe’ve Never Visited Santa
We’ve never visited Santa. He’s never asked me for the coolest toy. We’ve never baked cookies together. He’s never made a Christmas list. Or sang in a Christmas pageant. No snow mans or Elf on the Shelf. For so many years, Christmas was just another day. He didn’t acknowledge the tree or decorations. He didn’t open presents. Or wake up early to see what Santa brought. I used to get sad. Holidays were hard. I had a little boy who was oblivious. And not only was he oblivious, holidays were really…
Read MoreWe are Thankful for You
And then it happens….one day you wake up and your in this place. This beautifully loud, exhausting, perfect place. You look around and see that you’re a mom with three boys. Three boys who are exactly the people they are supposed to be. No different. No less. You’re in the place where everything feels right. A place full of trains, dancing, Pokémon cards, hockey, and little boy kisses. You made it. Your heart is calm. Your days are bright. Your thoughts are positive. Your vision is clear. And the love.…
Read MoreOur Life is No Different Than Yours
Our life is no different than yours. Not really. I have three boys. One is 8. He doesn’t say much. But he’s always listening. He hears everything. One is six. He never stops talking. He seems to never be listening. Not ever. And the baby, well, he never stops moving. He really loves kids. And fly swatters. And crackers. Our house is loud. And so cluttered. Our toilets all need to be scrubbed. Every counter seems to be sticky. We can’t keep up with the dishes. We start the dryer…
Read MoreA Life of Gratitude
It takes a lot of practice and work to live a life of gratitude. It’s sitting in your darkest hours and deciding to be grateful for the experience. My husband and I decided at the beginning of our marriage that we would live a life of gratitude. There have been some hard days where we simply talked about being grateful for breathing. There have been crazy days where we were grateful for silence. November is the month where we are the most grateful. We are grateful for the March of…
Read MoreThe Therapists Who Take Care of Us
I have always been the caregiver. When I was little, it was for my younger sister. When I met my husband, it was for him, and still is. When we got pregnant with mason, it just came naturally. I went to every doctors appointment, took my prenatal vitamins, tried to eat healthy. I continued to work out and took care of myself, for my buddy that was growing bigger by the day. When he was born, he was perfect. The first time I saw him he looked exactly how I…
Read MoreThe Therapist Who Helped Me See My Boy
I want to thank and honor my son’s first speech therapist, Elizabeth. She, with one sentence, gave me the strength and hope for this journey we are on, and even though she isn’t our speech therapist anymore (he goes through the school district now that he is four), I replay what she said to me often. Sometimes daily. Sometimes multiple times a day. She helped me see my boy. The amazing boy he is. And not just an imaginary “what if” doom and gloom version of his life. One sentence…
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