Posts by Laura Simzyk
“What does Olivia want for Christmas?”
This question seems simple, but it is extremely difficult to answer. My daughter Olivia is 16 years old. She is autistic, and she has Sensory Processing Disorder and anxiety. Olivia has words for labeling and requesting but is considered nonspeaking or semi-verbal because she cannot hold a conversation. There was a time when Olivia did not even acknowledge Christmas. She did not understand what was going on, and opening presents did not interest her at all. Now that she’s older, she actually loves Christmas! She loves the lights, the tree,…
Read MoreAm I enough?
I wake her every morning to begin a brand new day. I sit beside her, asking questions, slowing her steps, listening to her read, guiding her through mistakes, celebrating every victory. I nudge her past her comfort zone, toward chores, and cooking, and cleaning. I set alarms, build routines, help her move from one moment to the next. I give her her meds, teach her how to care for herself, walk the thin line between her independence and the dangers she cannot see. I place her sensory tools close, soft…
Read MoreHomeschooling by Default: When Autism Programs Shut the Door
Here we are at the start of another school year. My daughter is sixteen years old and should be beginning her junior year of high school. Instead, she’s at home with me. For now, I’ll be the one working on her IEP goals. Her school district is a mess, and the special education program is the biggest part of the disaster. Before anyone chimes in to remind me that our state has school choice—yes, I know. I’ve looked into it. But many of the schools that advertise themselves as being…
Read MoreNavigating ‘Time For’ as a Autism Parent
My youngest daughter is 16 years old and a sophomore in high school. She is autistic and is also diagnosed with sensory processing disorder and anxiety. I keep getting all the exciting emails from my daughter’s high school that it’s “time for”: Time for your student to pick classes for next year. Time for spring sports tryouts, come be a part of the team. Time for prom season, tickets go on sale soon… Did you get your tux or dress? Time for your student to get a summer job. Parks…
Read MoreHow to Advocate for Your Child: A Parent’s Letter to the IEP Team
It is time to prepare for my daughter Olivia’s annual IEP meeting. I need to go over all of her goal updates and the data taken so we can move forward in the best way for her individual needs. Here is a letter I wrote that conveys all the things about Olivia to her team. To the education staff working with my child, Olivia is a very complex person. She was diagnosed with autism and sensory processing disorder. She also has anxiety and will become obsessive-compulsive in certain situations. I…
Read MoreSanta’s Magic in Our Autism Journey
Every year at Christmastime, my older two children either went to see Santa, or we talked all about Santa and wrote lists. I could see the excitement building inside them and the anticipation on their faces on Christmas Eve as they got ready for bed. They would wake up on Christmas morning and run into the living room, yelling out, “Santa came!” and dive into their gifts. Olivia, on the other hand, was nonspeaking, and although I still tried to tell her about Santa and presents, she seemed to have…
Read MoreFinding Inclusion: The Power of a Birthday Invite
A birthday party invitation seems like such a normal right of passage as a kid. I remember getting many growing up.I also remember handing out birthday invitations to all of my friends. Birthday invitations were always a big part of my childhood. I grew up and had three children of my own. I had my oldest daughter when I was 25 years old, and I began throwing parties for her at age one. As she grew up, she was invited to many parties over the years. My son was born…
Read MoreMama’s Here: Finding Connection in the Quiet Moments
My daughter is 15 years old; she is autistic and has sensory processing disorder and anxiety. She is only semi-verbal, and for us, that means she has words to make requests, she can echo words and phrases, and she can answer yes or no questions with about 80 percent accuracy. However, she does not have conversational language skills. I cannot ask her how she feels and get an answer back. Every once in a while, in the wee hours of the night, I am awoken by the sound of my…
Read MoreThe Future and Autism: A Million Little Big Things
I was helping my autistic daughter navigate some personal medical issues that she had earlier today. I helped her through the hard parts and just went about my day. As I sit here this evening, thinking about our day, this wave of sadness and fear hits me extremely hard. When I am no longer here? Who will make sure these situations are dealt with in a way that respects and allows her dignity? I have dedicated the last fifteen years of my life to caring for this beautiful girl. I…
Read MoreDismissed at School, Thriving at Home: My Autistic Child’s Journey
My daughter who has autism, Olivia, was sent home from school on May 22nd, just one hour into her school day. It was the day before the last day of school. She was having behaviors they said they couldn’t get under control. They said they tried all things sensory, but nothing worked. I went to pick her up, and she was walking slowly and calmly with her teacher, so she must’ve recovered fairly quickly from those uncontrollable behaviors in the 20 minutes it took me to change my clothes and…
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