Archive for October 2020
Being Invisible
There are many beautiful things that I was gifted when I entered the world of special needs. Things that most people outside of our world know nothing about. Because they are unique to us. To our world. There are honestly to many to list. But one that rises to the top is that I get to see the people who see Cooper. One would think that a 9-year-old boy who dances in the rain and wears brightly colored leggings couldn’t possibly be overlooked. But it happens every day. People hear…
Read MoreDoctors And Nurses: Thank You
This little peanut had an outpatient surgery this morning. Nothing too serious. But nevertheless it needed to be done. I want to say the hugest thank you to Pediatric Surgical Associates, LTD and Children’s Minnesota for providing outstanding care. Harbor was charming, patient, darling and easy. It went as smooth as it possibly could have. And everyone was so kind to us. For anyone who has followed us for a while, you know that my older son Cooper is no stranger to different procedures. This mama has spent many hours wandering the halls of…
Read MoreYour Ups And Downs
Some days I wish I could just press reset. Or snap my fingers and make life easier for you. But I can’t. It doesn’t work that way. Instead it feels like ups and downs. Today you had an amazing speech session. The best in months! I think we gave you a hundred high fives. But then when it was over you dropped to the ground in the lobby and refused to get up. It was hard. It was over paper. You also kept a bandaid on your toes. You are…
Read MoreThe Future Of Autism
When my son’s autism was discovered at age three, I focused on the present. I dove into getting him all the help he needed. And our family too. When he was six, I started to think about the future. About forever. But I wasn’t ready yet. And many people told me not to think about it. They told me to wait. To take it day by day. Now that he’s nine, almost double digits, I can see the future with some sort of accuracy. I like to say we all…
Read MoreWell-Child Visit
This little guy and I just came from his 18-month well-child visit. He’s 22 months actually so I was late. But only by four months. Not too bad if you ask me. I blame Covid. But really it’s because life is crazy and he’s healthy and we are all thankful to be able to avoid the doctor’s office right now. I have two other boys too. Cooper is 9. Sawyer is 7. I don’t remember any of Sawyer’s baby visits. I think because they were easy. He was easy. He…
Read MoreThe Things I Wonder
Kid, I spend a lot of time thinking about the things you cannot tell me. There are little things. Like why you point to certain clouds or put your ear up to the wind and laugh. There are big things too. Like why you hit your head in frustration. Does it hurt? Do you hear something I cannot? I wonder why you like trains so much. I wonder why you carry the DVD cases but don’t watch the movies. I wonder if you are lonely. I wonder if you get…
Read MoreCooper’s Treasures
See these things in my son’s hands? Most would probably call it junk. Or even garbage. To my son…it’s treasure. It’s nine pieces of construction paper. Two pages from a calendar. Four pages from a train guide book. 11 pages from a vintage train magazine. 12 empty DVD cases. These are his things. I told him to get ready for speech. He grabbed the necessities. They go everywhere we go. They go to the bathroom and to his bed. From couch to floor. They eat dinner with us. And if…
Read More30 Words
Since Covid started, and the world changed, me and a whole other bunch of parents have been trying to explain the unique ways it has impacted kids with special needs. We speak of loss of services and supports. We share stories of regressions and loss of skills. Some dare even share the harder parts. Often our stories are met with sympathy. Some shame. But we keep talking. We keep trying to get the world to see the hidden children. A few days ago it dawned on me that my son…
Read MoreThis Is Regression
I can’t tell you the last time this kid and I did a puzzle. It’s been a few months at least. I have a dozen excuses why. It’s summer and playing outside with a hose is way better. Covid hit and life got turned absolutely upside down and inside out. I am writing a book. Jamie is running a business. Sawyer is playing hockey and golf and flag football. The baby never stops moving. Then there is homeschooling. I’m not good at it. I want to be clear. It is…
Read MoreFinding Your Best Life
My son, you matter. I feel the need to say that today. Loudly. To all of these people who read about you. Who love you and want to learn about you. Not to remind myself. Or you. Because I know you are amazing. I know you love trains and paper and the movie Alpha and Omega. You sleep with six blankets every night and hug your brother every morning and like your chicken nuggets cut up. You love mail. And Amazon. And making noise. You are a person. A human.…
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