Archive for October 2020
The Brave Ones
What is bravery? I’ve been thinking about that question lately. The definition is the quality or state of having or showing mental or moral strength to face danger, fear, or difficulty. It goes onto give examples of a brave firefighter. A brave nurse. A brave athlete. And no doubt, yes, they are brave. They face burning buildings and medical tragedies and catch the winning pass. They do things I could never do. They are brave. But I think about bravery in another way too. Imagine going out into a world…
Read MoreWhen You Don’t Feel Like Yourself
Last week I posted a selfie of my son Tommy and I happily snuggling up on the sofa on Facebook and received some lovely comments and messages. Some of my followers on my blog, Stories About Autism, mentioned how happy I looked, how content, as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. In fact it couldn’t be further from the truth. Whilst yes, in that moment I was definitely happy, the last few months have been increasingly tough, and I just haven’t felt myself. I thought that once…
Read MoreTo the Woman Who Stayed
To the woman who stayed… A week or so ago I found myself in a pretty tough situation out in the community. We were at an orchard with our family and friends. My son Cooper decided he was done. He was done with the apples and the tractors and the noise and sounds. And walking. Which is fine. He had done amazing. Except we were a mile away from the exit. His decision came out of nowhere. And we were stuck. My sweet misunderstood boy is 9 years old. Almost…
Read MoreOur Biggest Day
Lately, I’ve been sharing a lot of firsts for my son Cooper. Tonight, was the biggest one yet. He and I sat and watched an hour long flag football game together. He sat. He watched the timer. (Two 25 minute half’s is a long time!) He waved at his brother who was playing. He held my hand. He asked my 486 times for trains. And we were present. Together. A family of five. This wasn’t just any first. This was a first we have worked towards every day of his…
Read MoreI Never Stopped Talking To Him
Yesterday I interviewed my dear friend Leasa of Cody Speaks. If you don’t follow her you should. Her son Cody is 20. He loves videos and the mail. His autism was discovered when he was 17 months old. And he started talking at 9 years old. When she said that on the live, comments immediately came in asking what she did. What is the magic thing that got him to start talking? I understand because when I found Leasa and Cody, I asked the same question. My son was 7…
Read MoreHey You
Psst, hey. Look at me, I’m over here. Come close. I want to tell you something. You won’t win today. To be honest, I haven’t really noticed you in a while. I almost forgot about you. It seemed like the medicine was working and my son Jack was calmer and a little less agitated. Then, just last month, you returned with a vengeance—all ragged cuticles and sleepless nights. Anxiety. You would think I’d be used to you by now—that I could anticipate your next move, and figure out a solution,…
Read MoreChanging the Narrative
The other day I interviewed Joe of Joe James Autistic Awareness & Photography, an autism self advocate and all around cool guy. Each time I chat with him I spend days after reflecting on the wisdom and advice he provides me with. In our most recent interview, at least a dozen time he said, ‘I am autistic and proud.’ And at one point he said, ‘can you imagine if every autistic person said that? How the narrative of disability would change?’ Wow. Think about that for a minute. Right now,…
Read MoreA New Diagnosis
The doctor said it. She said what I knew in my heart was true. I had been waiting over a year for this appointment and she confirmed what I have suspected since Joelle was eighteen months old. But how can something you saw coming still hurt so much? I knew when my second daughter wasn’t meeting her developmental milestones. As a nurse, I saw the red flags. At her eighteen month well visit, I brought up my concerns. When her pediatrician wanted to take a wait and see approach, I…
Read MoreMy Miracle Boy
On May 24th 2020 my entire world changed in a matter of moments. Since my son’s Autism diagnosis in February, I still had not said the words aloud, “my son has autism.” I would use phrases such as “he receives special services” or “he has special needs.” I had not gathered up enough strength to use the word Autism and Charlie with the same breath. I guess in my magical world the diagnosis wasn’t real until I said it was. I am honestly not sure how long I would have avoided…
Read MoreNever Ever Give Up Hope
Our family’s number one goal is to get in the community together. It’s never really happened. Well, not successfully. But we refuse to give up. Tonight, our middle son had flag football practice. I wanted to go. My husband wanted to go. We wanted to get the other two boys out of the house. So, we did it. Cooper’s motivator and encouragement…two (not one!) vintage train magazines from eBay. His most favorite thing in the world. We stayed an hour. I have never, in nine years, been more proud of…
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