Being Invisible
There are many beautiful things that I was gifted when I entered the world of special needs.
Things that most people outside of our world know nothing about.
Because they are unique to us. To our world. There are honestly to many to list.
But one that rises to the top is that I get to see the people who see Cooper.
One would think that a 9-year-old boy who dances in the rain and wears brightly colored leggings couldn’t possibly be overlooked. But it happens every day.
People hear autism, nonverbal, or see the challenging parts and write him off. Maybe not maliciously. Maybe they don’t understand. Or maybe they are nervous. Or sadly maybe they don’t care to understand. I don’t know. But over the years, my little boy turned invisible to most of our world.
People stopped asking about him. They stopped saying hi.
And for a lot of years, our circle got really small. As life got busier, it also got harder to conform. We were different and sadly people slipped away.
I once asked a friend why she didn’t ask about Cooper anymore and she said it just got too hard. Too hard to ask questions when she didn’t know how to respond to our struggles.
That angered me beyond belief. Our hard was too hard for her.
This young lady, she sees Cooper. She runs over to our house to say hi to him. She waves, gives high-fives, and knuckles. She talks to him. She asks him questions. She sits by him. She doesn’t care if he responds.
See, I get to observe who acknowledges him. I get to watch who takes the time to say hi knowing he may not say hi back. The child who sits next to him. The adult who asks him if he wants an icee. And the person who gasps at his treasures, compliments his paper, smiles at him, and so on.
In a way I get the gift of seeing the best people. Because they see Cooper. They see him as a person and not a disability.
It’s a blessing.
We have a dozen people like this in Cooper’s life now.
We have a Greg who jumps on the trampoline with him.
A Grandpa who takes him on the four-wheeler.
A Madi who takes videos of trains on her phone to show him later.
An Alex who is his dearest friend.
A Kourtney, Caroline, Carrie, Sheryl, Jenny, Karen, Nikki and a dozen other mamas who text me and ask about him. Sometimes daily. Because they genuinely care and want to know how my sunshine boy is doing.
Autism changed everything. It turned us upside down and inside out. I won’t gloss over those parts. But the good parts, aw, the good ones, they are rising up more than ever lately.
Every person should know a Cooper. Because once he sees you, you are golden for life. You get to step into his world.
Find these people parents. Find the children and adults who take the time to acknowledge your children and love them. It’s pretty amazing once you do.
Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.
