Archive for January 2018
To My Daughter, One Day I Hope You Understand
I watch you so often struggling, and I see you getting the short end of the stick far too often. But I hope that one day you will understand that your Mom loves you and that I tried the best that I could. I had so many dreams of being your Mom. I was going to read fabulous literature to you. I was going to champion your every effort. I was going to have home cooked delicious meals for you every night. I was going to ensure that you had…
Read MoreThe Scary Reality of Forever as a Special Needs Parent
The idea of forever is very different when you have a child with special needs. Will my child ever living on their own? Will they have self care? There are times when I will look at my son and think, ‘this might be okay.’ He might learn to understand safety. He might learn to communicate his wants and needs. He might, maybe someday, be able to stay home alone. But in all honesty, the future is unknown. I don’t know if these things will ever happen. And as parents we…
Read MoreSometimes, Numbers Do Lie
Dear Holden, Your mama is a numbers person. As are you! I have “data” in my work title and I thrive on knowing things through their relationship to others. So when I heard that you were “on the spectrum” I did not find that explanation to be terribly satisfactory. Where, exactly, on the spectrum were you? I had this new information about you and yet it seemed to tell me absolutely nothing. So, I went looking for numbers and, honey, what I found was not good. An estimated 75-85 percent…
Read MoreAutism and Waiting On Those First Words
Autism. That word describes so many people. So many…different people. Have you heard the saying, “If you have met one person with autism, you have met that one person with autism?” How true is that? If you live on this roller coaster ride, that is autism, you know this to be true. You can’t talk to someone else about their journey, and expect yours to go the exact same way. You just take YOUR journey, one day at a time. I had to learn this, the hard way. “When did…
Read MoreEncouraging Play with Hasbro and The Autism Project
Play doesn’t come easily for some children. My son Cooper is a perfect example. He is seven years old, on the spectrum and has never played with a toy typically. Playing is so important for brain development, socialization, imagination, etc. I remember filling out evaluation after evaluation before my son was diagnosed and always checking ‘never’ to ‘does he play?’ It was scary and not something we could not fake. Even after years of encouraging and practicing play, we can walk through the toy aisle at Target and he will…
Read MoreOn Realizing Your Child Doesn’t Enjoy What Other Kids Enjoy
“Did you pack the toothbrushes?” When we met each other’s eyes we realized neither of us had. This sentence means something different for our in family. Our toothbrushes were in fact tucked away neatly into a side pocket of my bag. But we have a separate grouping of toothbrushes. A special one, just for our son Cormac. It started small. When Cormac was first diagnosed at 18 months he exhibited many sensory seeking behaviors and had not yet delved in the graces of therapy or Early Intervention. He was chewing…
Read MoreA Look at Nonverbal, Severe Autism
When my peanut was diagnosed with autism I was so scared. Hell, at times I still am. But most of the time, this is what nonverbal, severe autism looks like for us. Funny, silly, adorable, snuggly, loud and oh, so cute. This is my Cooper. He’s pretty much the best thing ever. And this mama knows to not take one second for granted. We’ve worked for this. Every sound. Every touch. Every look. Sitting. Communicating. Loving. Hoping. Don’t give up my friends. Keep going. If your child is newly diagnosed,…
Read MoreI Often Wonder if My Son Is Lonely
Good morning! We are having a much needed snow day in Minnesota. It’s nice to slow down once in a while. I haven’t had a relaxing morning with Cooper in months. It has been pretty busy around here lately. We are the early risers while Sawyer and dad sleep. We sit together. I watch the news and drink coffee. Cooper gathers his favorite things and a blanket. This mornings favorites include a picture of Dad, a coaster, Thomas DVD case, Thomas picture, a yellow magnetic block (so good for visually…
Read MoreThe Isolation of an Autism Parent
Being an autism parent is extremely isolating. I can say that I don’t have a tribe. I don’t have a group of mom friends to hang out with, who will be there when I need to vent or to even vent about their struggles. I don’t like to just wallow in our struggles. It is what it is, but it’s nice to hear what’s going on in other people’s lives, happy or sad. I want to give advice and listen to someone and celebrate their victories. I have a couple…
Read MoreAnd Just Like That, My Baby is Five
Yesterday was Sawyer’s fifth birthday. I know I don’t show all that much about Sawyer on this blog. I try to focus my posts around autism and everything that goes into having a child on the spectrum. I do that because I know that some day Sawyer will read this website. He already talks about Finding Cooper’s Voice with me. I want him to be able to tell his story if and when he is ready. Some day, I hope he spreads autism awareness like me. Anyhow, I wanted to…
Read More