Archive for January 2018
Identifying Pain in Nonverbal Children on the Spectrum
I have a Super Cooper update. He’s been ‘off’ for a few days. Protesting school, quick to meltdown, not communicating. When this happens with my nonverbal child I know something is probably wrong. As Cooper’s mom, I’ve learned that when behaviors change in a child on the spectrum, finding the reasons why can feel like trying to find a needle in a haystack. They can’t verbally tell you something hurts or feels weird. Nor can they always process it. In my son’s case, he shows us pain with increased or…
Read MoreA Letter to my Daughter, You’ve Come So Far
Dear Emma, my beautiful daughter. You just turned three and a half and I still wait to hear a word…any word… from your sweet little mouth. You will be four soon and I can’t help but think back to that day. The day I was told you were autistic and ‘that you might never learn to speak.’ I have heard that sentence so many times now you’d think I would be able to just brush it off. Be over it. But every time I hear it, it flaws me. I…
Read MoreThe Humorous Life of a Mother
We have one hard and fast rule in our home. Check Cooper’s treasures before he leaves the house because he has a habit of trying to bring ‘semi’ inappropriate pictures of his mother to school. Lucky me. Well, apparently, Daddy hasn’t been following the rule with the same intensity as me because the photos that Cooper has been bringing to school this week are OUT OF CONTROL. And they are all of me. The staff at his school has now seen photos of me at my graduation party, dressed as…
Read MoreAdopting Autism: The Ups and Downs
I have two kids; a two-year-old little girl and a 14-year-old stepson. My Stepson has autism. His name is Corey. Corey is on the moderate side of the spectrum. Corey’s mother passed away two years ago; I’m the closest thing to a mother he’ll ever have. Adopting Autism I guess I’m kind of jealous of his mom. From everything I know, she was an amazing, one-of-a-kind woman. I could never fill her size-11 shoes. But I try every day. I try to memorize the acronyms for all his different doctors…
Read MoreMy Son Is Not Broken, My Son Has Autism
My son has Autism. Whew, boy does that feel good to put it out there! I’ve had an internal battle with myself whether that was something that I wanted to put out there for everyone to know, but I’ve finally asked myself why?? Am I ashamed? Absolutely not. Am I seeking sympathy? That is the last thing I want. So why? Why put it out there so vulnerably? My Son has Autism The answer is simple….for my son. It is all just for him. I’m doing it in hopes that…
Read More13 Steps to Better Self Care
Self Care. Those two dreaded words. As a special needs mama, self care is the first thing to go when I feel sad. My son doesn’t talk. He doesn’t go to school. He doesn’t play. He doesn’t interact with children. He doesn’t play a sport or ride a bike. He doesn’t read. He doesn’t write. We rarely leave our house. We more so just live in his autistic world. And with that life comes a cycle of grief. The not knowing is hard. The knowing is hard. The accepting is…
Read MoreA Letter to my Three Year Old Son
Dear Charlie, My son. What I would give to hear you call me Mum, but something stops you. There is a disconnect and those invisible walls go up around you. And just like that you are lost in your own world again and my heart breaks. Charlie you are such a happy kid, your giggle is infectious and you make everyone you meet smile. You would spend hours jumping on your bed if you could, you energy seems at times endless. I have never had a conversation with you but…
Read MoreStop Acting Like Autism is a Death Sentence
I’ve been writing publicly about autism for five years now. Meaning, I’ve opened myself up to the world to educate and share our journey. And with that level of vulnerability comes support and scrutiny. At this point, there isn’t much that I haven’t heard. My son has been called ugly. I’ve been called fat. I’ve been told I should’ve aborted Cooper. He’s been called a retard. Dumb. Ugly. A mistake. A freak. He’s had death threats. Hell, so have I. I’ve been told that Cooper and I are stealing Medicaid…
Read MoreFinding Comfort with Two on the Spectrum
To my amazing little boys, Oh my beautiful boys. Where do I even begin? You both are loving, sweet, crazy, energetic, sensitive, hardworking, and special. I know you live a life that is harder than it should be. Every day when you wake up, you face challenges that I can’t even begin to understand. I’m sure if I understood everything you face between your sensory issues, lack of communication options, and constant need for routine, I would be impressed that you even make it out of bed some days to…
Read MoreWhen There is No One to Blame
Last week our family visited the Mayo Clinic in hopes of learning more about Cooper. The appointment was a lot. I left feeling heartbroken and like I was back to square one on the grieving path. Over the week, as I told people about the appointment, I started hearing a theme. They blamed the Mayo for horrible service. They blamed the doctor for telling me certain things. They blamed the stressful walk in. They blamed this and they blamed that. I heard, ‘That appointment sounded awful. And, what a terrible…
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