Posts Tagged ‘Special Needs’
To the People Who Live Outside Our World
To people who live outside of our world: I have a favor to ask you. When you see that child screaming uncontrollably on the floor of the supermarket. Stop. Pause. And… Before you blame the parents, Before you shake your head in disgust, Before you make snide comments about lack of discipline, And most importantly, before you judge the child, Stop. And know that… You may be seeing autism at its most challenging. It’s most confusing. A child who may simply have seen, heard, or smelled something new and not…
Read MoreChoose the Light
The comment read, ‘for some autism families, there is no light at the end of the tunnel.’ I thought about that comment all last night. And when my toddler woke up at midnight for a hug, and when I nursed my baby, and then again while I drank my coffee and watched the news. I thought back to our most challenging days when there was no apparent light at the end of the tunnel. Our autistic son didn’t sleep longer than 45 minutes at a time and we started every…
Read MoreYou Can Persevere in a Life Unplanned
Once upon a time, over seven years ago, I conceived a little boy. I had an IUD. This was not the plan. That little boy was born, let’s call him Pickle. He was born quickly and without any assistance from any qualified professional. He was caught by his father, in an inflatable kiddie pool, in the master bathroom of his family’s house. This was definitely not the plan. But that was just the beginning of life unplanned… Pickles popped out to us, I held him in my arms and checked…
Read MoreI Will Forever be Grateful for the Ways my Children have Changed Me
When I think of our son Nixon, who is five, and our daughter, Nora who is almost three, I think of them as who they are as a whole and the qualities each carries. I think of them first as my children, of all the memories of baby giggles, squishy faces over first bites of food, smiles with full cheeks, and watching as they explore the world around them. As human beings, we are a web of life experiences, impressions that others have of us, skills, and qualities that drive…
Read MoreWe Pour Love Into Them
This morning I was sitting on the couch drinking my coffee, soaking up some quiet time before my two littles woke up when my 3 year old came wandering in. He was dragging his blue blanket, the taggies in his hand. His hair was mussed, creases from his pillow still on his cheeks. He saw me, smiled, and immediately climbed up me and the chair and wiggled his little body next to me to make room. This is how every day starts. We snuggle. At least once he will whisper…
Read MoreYou Happily Went to School
My son, This morning you happily went to school. That sentence right there. I felt the tears pooling in my eyes as I typed it just seconds ago. Happily. Went. School. At 6 AM you used your words to say…’SS-OO-LL.’ You held up one finger to remind me that it’s Friday and you have one day of school. Then two days with mom and dad. You put your own shoes on, brought me your coat, gathered up your treasures, picked up your backpack, and waited calmly by the door. It…
Read MoreThe Forever Dads
I imagine it’s different for the dads. The dads like my husband. Last night I sat in the bleachers of a cold hockey rink watching my middle son play hockey. I glanced back behind me and took note of all the dads standing in a row. My husband was sandwiched in-between a group of 5 or so men. A snapshot out of the suburbia playbook. They all shared a striking resemblance. Black jackets. Black facemasks. All wearing hats. We are in the stage of life I suppose. Our peers are…
Read MoreLean In
Sometimes I will be sitting in my living room, or taking a shower, or driving in my car, and all of a sudden feel a crippling fear. It will come out of nowhere almost consuming my thoughts. Paralyzing me. I will feel it so strongly that I will clutch my stomach or bring my hand to my head, as if trying to wipe away the worry. Cooper. My son. I’ll see a flash of his future. A glimpse twenty years from now. It’s not fear of the diagnosis. Or the…
Read MoreNear but Far
This morning we were running around getting three kids ready to leave the house. Back to school day! Cooper was the most excited. Up and dressed and ready to go and saying…’SSS-OOO- LLL’ every time I walked by. It was a bit chaotic to say the least. Packing lunches, finding school iPads, headphones and chargers, gathering snow gear…it was a lot. We are definitely out of practice. Jamie noticed that Coops put his shoes on the wrong feet. It happens quite frequently but we are also so proud of him…
Read MoreThe Fight for a Special Needs Child
The silent battle in raising a child with special needs. The fuel that makes our stomachs churn and our hearts break. We know our babies more than anyone else. We know how they smelled as a newborn; what their sloppy toddler kisses felt like. We know how their infant body felt warm pressed against ours at all hours of the night. We know the joy in their eyes on Christmas morning. We simply know every corner of our children. So why can’t others see it? Ever since my son was…
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