Posts Tagged ‘Special Needs Parenting’
The First Day of Autism
The first day I realized my baby boy was autistic is one of those days that will forever be etched in my memory. Like the day my husband and I found out in the ultrasound room that our baby was a boy, or the night we walked together on our favorite trail while I was in labor with him. My husband sang to my stomach to let Johnny know he was loved, and that we were waiting for him on the other side of the dark. I remember it like…
Read MoreThe Relationships Lost Along the Way
There is a very important lesson you will learn after you have a child diagnosed with autism. There are people in your life, and your child’s life, that will never fully understand. They will never be what you need them to be. Maybe it’s a shoulder to cry on. A phone call. A visit. But they simply can’t do it. They also aren’t always bad people either. They just can’t emotionally handle the diagnosis. Or the differences. I will admit it took me years to understand and accept that. Many…
Read MoreSharing the Realities of our World
We have been having so many wins lately with our severely autistic son. He is thriving. Our family is letting that breath out we have been holding for years. I feel like many parts are actually getting easier. And yet, the roller coaster continues. Our son had his longest behavior to date yesterday, 10 minutes, and had to be put into a hold. I spent the night feeling guilty. And worrying. And wondering why his life has to be so hard. Why can’t it just be easy? And as he…
Read MoreWhen No One Says Hi Back
I just encountered a handicapped gentlemen in the skyway outside of my office. I would say he was in his fifties. I heard him coming. He was saying the most cheerful ‘hi’ to every person he passed. I noticed he was being ignored. Which I guess isn’t all that uncommon. When a stranger says hi it’s probably normal to ignore. When he said hi to me I gave him the most cheerful hi I could give. He stopped walking and asked if I was going to have a baby. I…
Read MoreAdvocating for my Child Doesn’t Mean I am Trying to Cure Him
The small room is kept cold and quite. It only has one long rectangular table with 12 black cushioned chairs that have wheels at the bottom of them. The walls are painted light tan, with no pictures hanging from it, and the carpet is dark brown. You can not hear the sound of my heels walking to one of the chairs where I will sit for the next hour. It’s August and every room at the board of education is full and humming with excitement and nervousness for the upcoming…
Read MoreBringing a New Baby into a Special Needs Household
Making the decision to have another baby is a huge decision no matter what your situation. When you find out you are expecting a baby, you are flooded with excitement, joy, concerns, fear and so many other emotions! It can be a time of great worry for some people, but when you are a parent of a child with additional needs, it brings a whole new level of worry to it. It wasn’t long before the birth of our second son that most of the problems Master W was experiencing,…
Read MoreAfter the Diagnosis
It has taken me almost a year to write this. On February 16, 2017 my life changed. Keegan got his diagnosis of severe (level 3) autism. I had known in my heart for over six months that it was autism, but prayed that it wouldn’t be, and that the early intervention would start working. I had prayed that his symptoms would go away, but when they didn’t…I had hoped for a diagnosis of mild. Looking at his symptoms I knew it would be more than mild, but I kept telling…
Read MoreLetting Out The Breath You’ve Been Holding For So Long
‘The best feeling is watching things finally fall into place after watching them fall apart for so long.’ The beginning was so hard. Before the autism diagnosis. The unknown. The hating myself for suspecting something was wrong. The watching all of his peers and even younger kids pass him by. The exhaustion. Never sleeping. Wondering why my baby was different. The fighting with my husband because I saw something he refused to see. The hoping it was anything but autism. Late bloomer. Boys will be boys. Holding my breath. Waiting.…
Read MoreThe People You Meet Along the Way
When I first received the news that my son had autism over three years ago, my mind instantly started making a list of the potential challenges that awaited us in the future. Will he ever talk? Will he ever be potty-trained? Will he need to be in a special classroom with other disabled children? Negative or difficult scenarios would keep me up at night, and I’d toss and turn thinking about how I was going to help him face each one. Fast-forward three years later, and ironically, many of those…
Read MoreThe Land of Grief
I’ve scoured so many posts, blogs, and advice columns looking for moms like me. The moms who still struggle with the diagnosis. Moms who still wake up in the middle of the night unable to breathe, and moms who doubt everything they thought they knew. I look for moms like me, who have been crushed by the weight of autism. It’s been ten long years. Nothing has soothed these wounds. I’ve tried. I’ve tried different therapies. Antidepressants. Christianity. Wine. Way too much wine. No one seems to understand what this…
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