Posts Tagged ‘Special Needs Parenting’
Where Would I be Without Autism?
I had an interesting experience this past week. My husband and I volunteered to be apart of a research study looking at how having a child with autism affects our marriage. There were a lot of expected questions like, “what things are more challenging when you have a child with autism compared to other families?”, and “how do you cope with the stress as a married couple”. Some of the questions were hard to answer, some were very easy. There was one question that struck me to the core that…
Read MoreHas Autism Changed our decision to have more Children?
July 8th. That date will sit in my head forever. It was the day my son Carter was diagnosed with autism. As his mom knew for about a year before that Carter might have a delay or be “different”. He wasn’t speaking or doing simple things that other kids his age were doing. But before I really noticed anything with Carter his dad and I decided we wanted him to have a sibling. I grew up close with my sisters and I wanted that for my children. Being pregnant with…
Read MoreI am so Thankful for my Cheer Squad
Special needs parenting is rough. I’m not gonna sugar coat it anymore. It is the single most hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. The first two years were pretty typical, I always looked to my friends for mom advice. Diaper cream, sippy cups etc. The last three have been hard. I don’t have anyone to ask for advice anymore. It’s just us. My husband, our pre-verbal ASD son and me. We make a great team and my son is the MVP. He is tough, smart and even though…
Read MoreWhat it Could Be
A long time ago, back before the diagnosis, before autism was a word in our vocabulary, I had a little boy. He was two years old. He had blonde hair and hazel eyes. He was busy. So busy. He never stopped moving. Sometimes not even when he was sleeping. He was rarely happy or content. He screamed in the car. He screamed when we were outside. He screamed in restaurants and stores. No matter what we did, he wasn’t happy. I knew something was wrong. But I didn’t know what…
Read MoreYou See a Boy and a Baby
You see a boy and a baby. It’s so much more than that. I see an 8-year-old boy and a 9 month old baby. Brothers. The boy is sitting in his driveway. Outside. Near a road. Safely. Sitting. He isn’t running. He isn’t eloping. He is calmly sitting. Next to his baby brother. A baby brother who is touching him. Leaning into him. Reaching for his tablet. Touching his arm and his leg. If you could hear you would hear Barney singing the ABC’s. The boy is babbling about the…
Read MoreLiving our Kind of Normal
I was on YouTube the other day during one of my many research missions about autism and I came across a video. The lighting was poor and the camera angles were even worse. It made me a little nervous at first since you never really know what will pop up during a search, but the caption insisted it was an “interview with autism parent” so I kept watching. On camera was this person, who I can only assume was a reporter, and he was interviewing a distraught mother with a…
Read MoreIf it Never Gets Any Better…
Part of me started to believe it was going to be really hard forever. Part of me started to only know how to live in the intensity. The chaos. I learned how to manage. How to react. I found happiness there. It was my normal. I could handle it all. The running. The self injuring. The screaming. I perfected ‘first-then,’ token boards, timers, a speech device, therapy, calm body-calm hands, family skills…you name it. I could do it all. I made your happiness the center of my world kid. Willingly.…
Read MoreCoping with Autism
I’m an optimist at heart. I really am. So, when I got the diagnosis of autism for my daughter I remained hopeful. She was two then. I had actually known she had autism since she was 10 months. At 10 months Antoinette never looked at me when I made a sound. She never made eye contact. She never cried. Crying is a form of communication. She wasn’t communicating. I watched my daughter and thought to myself “she’s a genius, that’s what this is.” I told myself that daily. Three years…
Read MoreSometimes I Forget
Sometimes I forget. I know I shouldn’t. I mean, come on, it’s been 8 years. This isn’t necessarily new. And it’s been a long 8 years at that. It’s been so much trial and error. We’ve moved. We’ve seen countless doctors, therapists, and educators. They all say the same thing. Autism. And then severe autism. After that nonverbal autism. Level three and then level four and back to level three. Apraxia. Severe intellectual disability. Anxiety. In a way it’s like our life became checkboxes. Words on an evaluation. I always…
Read MoreWe’re All the Same
Before having my daughter, I had two miscarriages. They were years apart and left me fragile and vulnerable to fear. Fear that it would happen again and fear I’d lose her after she was born. Later. Someday. Fear that kept me up at night. Fear that still keeps me up at night. While people are finally starting to open up about their experiences with loss, they aren’t talking about this anxiety that comes with parenting. At five years old, I opened myself up to trusting more people to watch her…
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