Posts Tagged ‘Special Needs Parenting’
I Need you to Show me the Way Kid
Last night we went for a walk. You and me and the baby. Sawyer was off riding bike with the neighbor kids. He finds walks with us to be a little boring I guess. The rain had finally stopped for the day and I needed to get outside the walls of our house. You know me kid and you know that sometimes mom feels a little batty when we spend all of our time inside. I buckled your brother into his stroller and helped you into your shoes and hoodie.…
Read MoreI Don’t Understand Why
I’ve numbed myself now for quite some time. I went from my daughter getting a diagnosis to my son having autism too. When I realized he was on the spectrum it really hurt because I thought he would be the typical child that would help with his sister and that I would be able to relate to on a level I feared my daughter might not be able to. When he began his aggressive behaviors- this beautiful boy I love- that is when it became too much. The whole process:…
Read MoreLong Term Survival Mode and the People who Live it
Recently I found myself in that that spring cleaning mode—the place where I wanted to purge, and organize, and simplify all the things. But as I took a step back to take inventory of our lives I was quickly overwhelmed by what I found. There were so many things that had been left un-done for so long. As I thought about why, the reality of our life came flooding in around me. It all comes down to survival mode. When you come home from the hospital with a newborn in…
Read MoreNo One Tells You
A first child turning 18 is an exciting time in a parent’s life, right? A time when the child you grew within you reaches the age of legal adulthood. It seems like those 18 years went by in a blink of an eye. A child you raised, guided, and encouraged throughout their childhood actually turned out pretty darn awesome. Your role in their life is different now. The little birdie is getting ready to leave the nest. They are preparing to go out on their own and conquer the world.…
Read MoreAn Open Door
What is the measure of success in development? For most it’s acing a test or moving onto the next grade level. In our world, the special needs world, it’s different. Some days it’s simply trying. Or being present. It’s touching a food to your lips or only self injuring 50 times instead of a hundred. It’s waving to people or making a sound to communicate. It’s sleeping past 3 AM or tolerating a haircut. And sometimes, it’s an open door. This door. Our home has felt like a prison for…
Read MoreAin’t Nobody Got Time for Drama when You’re an Autism Mama
When I received a private message today from a sweet autism mama, my heart sank. She was leaving her support group because of drama between her and some moms in the group who had been her best friends. I knew this decision didn’t come lightly. I knew her eyes were bloodshot from nights wasted worrying about the right thing to do, wondering how this situation got so far out of control, and feeling betrayed by the very people who were her lifelines for so many years in early autism. Her…
Read MoreI’m the Mom without a Bestfriend
I’m the mom without a bestfriend. I’m the mom without a tribe. I’m the mom without a village. I’m the mom who doesn’t get invited to birthdays, baby showers, weddings, mom’s night out. I’m the mom that doesn’t have a person. I’m the mom who spends weeks at a time never seeing another human being besides her kids and husband. I’m the mom that doesn’t get included. I’m the mom that doesn’t have someone to make sure I’m still hanging on. I’m the mom on the outside looking in. I’m…
Read MoreJoin Coop’s Troop, Our Online Community
A few years ago I decided to start a Facebook page for my blog, Finding Cooper’s Voice. I started it so I could have a place to share all of my autism related posts, and not overwhelm my friends. In less than two years, I have nearly 500,000 followers. It’s amazing. Some days I’m still surprised by the amazing response. I’ve built a community that I am proud of and love. But, with hope and support comes negativity and bullying. I guess that is the nature of social media. So,…
Read MoreWe Don’t Dwell on the Hard, but we do Acknowledge it
I often think people assume that my husband and I dwell on the hard parts of autism because we choose to share them publicly. I’ve been asked if our life is sad. Or been told that I clearly need therapy. That I’m depressed and need medication. Or my favorite…that I’m negative. That one makes me giggle. A little secret for you. We don’t dwell. We aren’t sad. We don’t wallow in pity. But we do acknowledge the hard. The very real hard parts of raising a child with a lifelong…
Read MoreThe Extra Mile Dad
You. What would I do without you? The father of my children who goes the extra mile. We have an extra mile child. He has extra needs. We are learning together. Learning how to best parent our sweet boy. Together. We have our bumpy times walking this extra mile. We may not agree, we may not yet understand, we both are sleep deprived. We keep going. When our son was diagnosed I know how hard it was for you. You were in Afghanistan when I was on the phone telling…
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