Posts Tagged ‘Special Needs Parenting’
Why I Exercise…
The message said something like…‘why are women like you so obsessed with being skinny? I just don’t get it. And I have three kids. I don’t have time to go to the gym.’ It went on from there. They always do. I’ve been thinking about that message for days now. Especially every single time I squeeze my fat ass into jeans that are too tight or feel my bra fat bulge when I pick up one of my kids. Being shamed for exercising. That’s new one. Heck yes I want…
Read MoreI’m not the Fun Parent
I had a long talk with my son’s teacher last night at conferences about reading and math and wiggle breaks and how much I value my son’s kindness and heart above all. After that we spoke about much he is motivated by doing activities with his dad. I sorta smiled. And snickered. See, I’ve been noticing that too in his school work. His creative writing stories and drawings all include Dad and ice fishing and hockey and baseball. His teacher said, ‘trust me Kate, I know how much mom’s do.’…
Read MoreHere is Me
Here is me. I am Jack. Here is me, and here is my autism. See, I am a boy and a diagnosis tangled together like so many vines climbing a tree. I am the rustle of paperwork, and small white pills in a vial. I am honesty, and tenacity, and a body in motion. I am a boy trying to hide. I am downcast eyes. And a hopeful heart. I am repetitive behavior. And special meetings in an overheated conference room. I am letters on paper—a statistic., a number, a…
Read MoreThe Silent Moments And The Loudest Thoughts
In horror movies, the silence often lets us know something bad is about to happen. We tense our bodies, pull the covers up in preparation, and anticipate the worst. We do the same in special needs parenting, or in my case, being the mother of a nonverbal autistic son. Sometimes I feel like there is so much silence that it could consume me whole. It’s not just the moments when I look into my beautiful son’s eyes and try with every cell in my body to will him to say…
Read MoreThe Secret to Parenting is to Love Them Through
I have a secret for you. Most of the time I don’t know what I’m doing in the world of parenting. Nor have I ever claimed too. I mean I obviously know to brush my kid’s teeth and feed them fruit once in a while. I know to put sunscreen on them, hug and kiss them a dozen times a day, and not giggle when they say swears, but beyond that, I am mostly just winging it. Especially when it comes to my first born. I joke that my autism…
Read MoreThere is Always Next Year
There is always next year… At age two we went to a restaurant for the last time. We started early intervention and learned how different our son was from his peers. At age three he was diagnosed with autism and we were told all the things he would never do. At age four we locked our house down. Three locks on every single door. Window alarms. Fences. We realized we couldn’t go places outside of our home. We started having aggressions and self injuring behavior. At age five it got…
Read MoreHope is a Funny Thing
Hope is a funny thing. It ebbs and flows. It even changes over the years. When I found out I was pregnant for the second time I hoped I wouldn’t miscarry. I hoped for a happy, healthy, ‘like every other kid I knew’, baby. I secretly hoped for a girl too. When I found out I was having a boy at 20 weeks, and that we would name him Cooper, I hoped for baseball games, camping, swimming, biking and fishing. I hoped for endless conversations and a beautiful family. I…
Read MoreWhen Family Isn’t Best
It’s been a year. A whole year. My son, Tucker, and I just got back home from his open heart surgery. My daughter, Hazel, was in the throes of her worst regression to date. And my husband Sam, and I just decided to move to Texas for a new job; more or less on a whim. That was the day I found out that Hazel had been hurt. Sam left early from the hospital, we just couldn’t afford for him to stay in Rochester with us, and Hazel needed her…
Read MoreLove Needs No Words
If you’ve followed this page for any period of time, you know my son loves photos. Photos of Jamie and I when we were young. Party photos. Baby photos. Me as a freshman in college dressed up as a naughty nurse for Halloween. His dad taking a shot out of a beer bong made out of a plastic penguin named Petie. Our friends too. Old and new. He loves really happy photos. Carefree people. Letting loose. He hunts around the house for them. Digs in Rubbermaid tubs in the basement.…
Read MoreNever, Ever Give Up
Dear Autism Moms and Dads, We’re not so different, you and I. I imagine our days are filled with similar struggles, similar frustrations, similar fears. Sure, our kiddos might have different diagnosis or fall in different areas on the autism spectrum, but at the end of the day we can relate to one another more so than a lot of other parents can. With that being said, from one autism parent to another, I hope you can take this message to heart; never ever give up. You see, my husband…
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