I’m not the Fun Parent
I had a long talk with my son’s teacher last night at conferences about reading and math and wiggle breaks and how much I value my son’s kindness and heart above all.
After that we spoke about much he is motivated by doing activities with his dad.
I sorta smiled. And snickered.
See, I’ve been noticing that too in his school work. His creative writing stories and drawings all include Dad and ice fishing and hockey and baseball.
His teacher said, ‘trust me Kate, I know how much mom’s do.’
I asked Sawyer about it after. About all the stuff he does with mom. Just to see what he’d say.
His response, ‘Dad gets to take me to do fun stuff because you are with Cooper.’
I felt that one in my gut. Mom guilt is alive and well.
See, I do as much as I humanly can as a mother of three. But I work and have a baby and a Super Cooper. But I am not the fun dad. I do know that.
I don’t tie skates as well and I don’t know how to drive a snowmobile or drill a hole in the ice. And I probably never will.
I am the ‘snuggles before bed, read stories at night, cover his eyes when I wash his hair, sing songs while I cut his fingernails, but him new shoes, teach him how to make peanut butter toast’ mom.
I also have the best lap. The one he climbs into every single morning and night.
Sometimes the best thing I can do as mom is set up play dates to get him out of the house, sign him up for camps to keep him active, and encourage his dad to take him to do something.
I may not be the doer. But I am the planner.
And I’ll tell you this. I may not be the cool parent. But I will always show up.
I will move mountains to show up for this kid in the form of finding babysitters for the other two and working after bedtime so I can make a noon game.
And I will continue to do so for the rest of his life.
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