Posts Tagged ‘Special Needs Parenting’
Well-Child Visit
This little guy and I just came from his 18-month well-child visit. He’s 22 months actually so I was late. But only by four months. Not too bad if you ask me. I blame Covid. But really it’s because life is crazy and he’s healthy and we are all thankful to be able to avoid the doctor’s office right now. I have two other boys too. Cooper is 9. Sawyer is 7. I don’t remember any of Sawyer’s baby visits. I think because they were easy. He was easy. He…
Read MoreThe Things I Wonder
Kid, I spend a lot of time thinking about the things you cannot tell me. There are little things. Like why you point to certain clouds or put your ear up to the wind and laugh. There are big things too. Like why you hit your head in frustration. Does it hurt? Do you hear something I cannot? I wonder why you like trains so much. I wonder why you carry the DVD cases but don’t watch the movies. I wonder if you are lonely. I wonder if you get…
Read MoreCooper’s Treasures
See these things in my son’s hands? Most would probably call it junk. Or even garbage. To my son…it’s treasure. It’s nine pieces of construction paper. Two pages from a calendar. Four pages from a train guide book. 11 pages from a vintage train magazine. 12 empty DVD cases. These are his things. I told him to get ready for speech. He grabbed the necessities. They go everywhere we go. They go to the bathroom and to his bed. From couch to floor. They eat dinner with us. And if…
Read More30 Words
Since Covid started, and the world changed, me and a whole other bunch of parents have been trying to explain the unique ways it has impacted kids with special needs. We speak of loss of services and supports. We share stories of regressions and loss of skills. Some dare even share the harder parts. Often our stories are met with sympathy. Some shame. But we keep talking. We keep trying to get the world to see the hidden children. A few days ago it dawned on me that my son…
Read MoreThis Is Regression
I can’t tell you the last time this kid and I did a puzzle. It’s been a few months at least. I have a dozen excuses why. It’s summer and playing outside with a hose is way better. Covid hit and life got turned absolutely upside down and inside out. I am writing a book. Jamie is running a business. Sawyer is playing hockey and golf and flag football. The baby never stops moving. Then there is homeschooling. I’m not good at it. I want to be clear. It is…
Read MoreFinding Your Best Life
My son, you matter. I feel the need to say that today. Loudly. To all of these people who read about you. Who love you and want to learn about you. Not to remind myself. Or you. Because I know you are amazing. I know you love trains and paper and the movie Alpha and Omega. You sleep with six blankets every night and hug your brother every morning and like your chicken nuggets cut up. You love mail. And Amazon. And making noise. You are a person. A human.…
Read MoreThe Dark Side
As a mother of a child with special needs, there are some things you just don’t say out loud. Because these things… these thoughts that occasionally loop on repeat over and over again in your head, well, they’re dark. They’re depressing. Sometimes, they’re downright scary. But these forbidden thoughts, these heartbreaking, gut-wrenching, soul-crushing thoughts that you’re often made to feel bad for having, they’re part of your reality. Part of your life. Part of the life that you didn’t choose. And if you dare speak of these dark, depressing, scary…
Read MoreOne Size Fits All
The other day I was scrolling my newsfeed and I came across a picture—a list, really—titled Reality Check. I scanned the points and as usual, my brain went right to autism. I can’t help it. Ever since my son was diagnosed fifteen years ago, I see much of the world through a spectrum lens. Hi. My name is Carrie. I have five kids, and my second son, Jack, is diagnosed with autism. When I was a New Autism Mama, I thought I could just make Jack do the things he…
Read More‘Very Nice Boy You Have Here’
Yesterday my son rode the bus for the first time to school. I was nervous. I thought about getting in my car and following but didn’t because I knew it would be great. When the bus pulled in the driveway after his school day I was waiting as the big doors opened. My first question…’how did he do?’ See, as a mom of a kid who has struggled in the past, and still does at times, I was ready. I’ve built up this armor you could say. Waiting for the…
Read MoreThree “Simple” Words
I love you. Three simple words. Most of us throw them around loosely. Take them for granted. We say them when we hang up the phone. When a loved one leaves the house. When we kiss our little ones good night. Sometimes out of habit. It’s something a mother hears a million times.. over a lifetime. That is unless your child is… NONVERBAL. Then you might never hear it. One of those things that most don’t even think about. I have told my daughter “I Love You” everyday, multiple times…
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