Posts Tagged ‘special needs parent’
The Deafening Silence
My son Knox, five, lives each day with non-verbal autism. He has said some words, many sounds, but there is no consistent voice for him. Consistently, there is a deafening silence. A silence that makes my heart drop with each unanswered question I pose to him. A silence that is so loud, it makes me want to scream in pain. Scream in pain for him, for me, and for the voice that our family so longs to hear from him. A silence that is so deafening, it is all I…
Read MoreA Reward for Cooper
Yesterday, Cooper’s dad and I took him to the paper store. He picked it as his reward for having an amazing week at school. Parents outside our world probably don’t know that understanding rewards and incentives and motivation is a huge deal. Something we hope and pray for! Cooper didn’t understand any of it until this year. Age 9. That also meant he was pretty hard to spoil. But not anymore. Something clicked and he is now independently able to pick where and what he wants to work for. Last…
Read MoreDora the Pirate
I’d love to bring you a smile today. Because over here we are grinning from ear to ear. A week or so ago, my son Cooper took an interest in Dora the Explorer. But not just any Dora. Because she has always been his favorite. He wanted to dress like Pirate Dora. He wanted her hat, jacket, backpack and black boots. He wanted to board a pirate ship and search for mermaid rock. He wanted a pet monkey named Boots. He wanted whatever the pig characters were too. He asked…
Read MoreWhat Are Your Expectations?
I remember my very first autism workshop about 3 years ago like it was yesterday. Sitting in a room filled with other autism moms and dads, I didn’t know what to expect. Not knowing, that day would be one of the most important days of my life. Being surrounded by people who had the same questions, same worries, same fears, it gave me the opportunity to openly discuss autism for the first time, and made me realize that we’re not alone on this autism journey. The first question directed at…
Read MoreShielding Them From the Dark
As the parents of a daughter with significant special needs, my husband and I have always tried to shield our two sons from some of the darker realities of Lizzy’s issues. Still, we remain as open as possible so they can feel close and connected with her and her care. If that sounds as if it might be impossible to accomplish, it is. Four years ago, I realized what a fool’s errand it was. Our oldest, Tom, was 17, and was mowing the lawn. Joe and Lizzy were also in…
Read MoreDear Stranger
Dear Stranger, You have been going to the same coffee shop as my son for a few weeks now. In fact, you have tried to engage and make conversation with him. Two days ago, you found out the reason why he doesn’t answer you, the reason why he struggles to make eye contact with you and the reason he eats the same thing, day in and day out. He has autism and has limited verbal abilities. You were told this information so you didn’t think he was being rude…
Read MoreA Trip to the Zoo
We just returned from an outing with just our older son. It was his day to get spoiled by mom and dad. For the first 9 years of his life he didn’t really care about outings or gifts or getting spoiled. But slowly over time he has started asking us to go places. Some are not doable…if anyone knows how to get Dora the Explorer to our local fire station please let me know. He’s asked my daily for months now. I’m not sure how long…‘mommy’s trying’ is going to…
Read More30 Reasons I’m Grateful I Get to Parent a Child with a Disability
* Because there’s a fierceness in my heart that wasn’t there before. * They’ve taught me what relentless love looks like. * They’ve introduced me to an amazing community of moms and dads who are tender fighters. * They rescued me from a pointless path to pursuing perfection. * They’ve taught me speed isn’t everything. * They’ve taught me to speak up. * Because they give the best hugs. * Through them, I’ve experienced what pure joy is. * They’ve shown me the value in being different. * Because of…
Read MoreThe Autism Bomb
Halloween brings back memories… A lesson in labeling our children with special needs. I believe this was just four years ago when peanut was eleven years old and her brother nine. This year it was just us four celebrating the holiday and the kids and I were trick or treating only a few houses down from where I am sitting as I write these words. I was not physically far from them, because I physically do not leave her side for very long, even back then. Always keeping an eye…
Read MoreBecause, Autism
I must finally admit to myself and the world that I’m tired. Physically and mentally exhausted. For the last 15 years of my 17-year-old son’s life, autism has dictated the mood, comfort, décor (or lack thereof) and decibel level of our home. Severe, non-verbal autism has robbed my son of the ability to communicate effectively or calmly and replaced it with banging, hitting, throwing and aggression. It’s as if my son’s development has frozen in time…demonstrating behaviors matching a two-year-old temper tantrum. No matter the circumstance, he has learned…
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