Posts Tagged ‘special needs mother’
Choose Kindness
When do we learn hate? At what age? It’s a question I’ve been thinking about for days now. I share these three boys and our family on Facebook. I do it for a few reasons. I want to normalize autism. I want to remove the stigma and fear from the word. I want to show the possibility. The reality. The hope and the joy. I want to educate the person who knows nothing of disability. So when they meet a child or adult like my son, they give grace. And…
Read MoreTen Years Old and Nonverbal
Nonverbal communication is a pretty amazing thing really. My son Cooper communicates mostly with sounds: Think grunts and squeals and gasps. He points a lot. And brings things to us and brings us to things. He places his hands on ours and guides them in certain ways. He touches our lips and uses his hands to turn our faces to see things. He uses his iPad to show us pictures or videos of things he wants to tell us about. He does some typing. But only words that are important…
Read MoreI am a Forever Mother
All five of my kids have really peculiar teeth. Which is kind of ironic, seeing as my husband is a dentist. Missing laterals, crowding, odd bite patterns—we’ve got it all. My son Jack has what is called a class three underbite, which means his lower jaw comes out much further than it should. He’ll probably need to have a lot of teeth pulled. And there is a surgery to correct the whole thing. It is big and long and complicated, with a very difficult recovery. We could never put him…
Read MoreThe Plain White Coffee Mug
I will be 36 years old in one month and I’ve never been the plain white coffee mug. I’ve been the funny coffee mug. I have made it my job to make everyone laugh around me. I’ve been the accomplished mug. From grade school through obtaining my master’s degree. I’ve been the pregnant mug. Sickness all 41 weeks – Can’t see my feet Hangry – I will NEVER do this again. I’ve been the ew mom mug. I became a mommy for the first time in 2013. I was so…
Read MoreGood People
For almost two years now, my son Jack has wanted a job. He wanted to work. I still don’t know why he chose the place he did—a local pasta restaurant in the center of town. He went online to their website and researched the requirements. Carefully, he printed out the application. He sat at the kitchen counter and answered the questions about his age, birthdate, and previous experience. He asked if he was a US citizen. I assured him he was. They hired him. For over a year, he has…
Read MoreThankful
‘Along my journey I have learned that the more thankful I am, the more I have to be thankful for.’ Today I was…Woke up at before 6 am by a ‘Mama…wake up!’ Shot in the neck and the butt and everywhere else by Nerf Guns. Negotiated one zillion times over how many days it is until Cooper’s birthday. Cleaned every surface area of my house a dozen times. Wiped pee off the toilet seat every time I had to use it. (Life with boys!) Broke up fights. Kissed boo-boos. Got…
Read MoreShielding Them From the Dark
As the parents of a daughter with significant special needs, my husband and I have always tried to shield our two sons from some of the darker realities of Lizzy’s issues. Still, we remain as open as possible so they can feel close and connected with her and her care. If that sounds as if it might be impossible to accomplish, it is. Four years ago, I realized what a fool’s errand it was. Our oldest, Tom, was 17, and was mowing the lawn. Joe and Lizzy were also in…
Read MoreA Letter to the Mama Who Gets It
How would it feel to meet someone who knew every part of your story, before you told them? How would it feel to meet someone who lived your story, when all along you thought you were the only one? How would it feel to meet an old friend, for the very first time? You and I, we are the same. We learned early on that the journey of a special needs parent wouldbe a lonely one. We each have wonderful friends that choose to loveour children. We have families that…
Read MoreA Letter to My Wife and All Special Needs Mothers
To the wives, the girlfriends, and the mothers: We haven’t said these three simple words often enough… We see you. From moment one, mother’s of our children, we watch as you push grief to the side and take the lead at the moment of diagnosis. You run like a prized thoroughbred, determined to secure therapies, counselors, and doctors. Searching for the opportunities that will ensure a better life for our babies, despite the chaos. You are miracle workers, moving mountains by sheer will, even when we, the husbands, boyfriends, feel…
Read MoreA Trip to the Zoo
We just returned from an outing with just our older son. It was his day to get spoiled by mom and dad. For the first 9 years of his life he didn’t really care about outings or gifts or getting spoiled. But slowly over time he has started asking us to go places. Some are not doable…if anyone knows how to get Dora the Explorer to our local fire station please let me know. He’s asked my daily for months now. I’m not sure how long…‘mommy’s trying’ is going to…
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