A Letter to the Mama Who Gets It

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How would it feel to meet someone who knew every part of your story, before you told them?

How would it feel to meet someone who lived your story, when all along you thought you were the only one?

How would it feel to meet an old friend, for the very first time?

You and I, we are the same.

We learned early on that the journey of a special needs parent would
be a lonely one.

We each have wonderful friends that choose to love
our children. We have families that stand by us and work hard to
understand Autism.

Even surrounded by people who love us, the loneliness of Autism is always there.

We were searching for help, unsure where to turn. We knew we needed something more, we just didn’t know what.

Then we found Coop’s Troops.

A place with mamas who just get it.

Who just get every part of it, with their whole heart.

Then we found each other.

Two mamas that had been walking the same road, separately.

Two mamas doing autism all alone….

Dear Kendra,
I want you to know that meeting you changed my life. It was like suddenly I found a piece of my heart that I didn’t even know was missing.

Dear Maykayla,
I want you to know how grateful I am to have a friend like you. I knew I would like you from the moment I Facebook stalked you. What I didn’t know was that you would become one of my best friends.

I watched you take on Parkers diagnosis in awe. You were strong, brave and fearless. When Jayce got diagnosed, I could barely get myself up off the ground. I couldn’t even say the word Autism without breaking down. You dove into Autism without missing a beat.

I am so thankful that I had you by my side for Parkers diagnosis. Before I knew you, I felt so alone. I felt lost and scared. I had no idea what I was doing. I just wanted to have SOMEONE. Someone to just let me cry and tell me it was going to be okay. Someone who truly understood what I was going through. That someone was you.

You are such an inspiring person, Kendra.

You have a way of making everyone you meet feel special.

You are kind and compassionate.

You are such a beautiful person, Maykayla. You light up a room when you walk into it. You lift up every person around you. You are honest and caring.

With you, for the first time, I feel like I can relate to another mom. For the first time, I don’t feel like I am drowning.

We didn’t just connect because we are both single moms, autism mom, or boy moms. We connected on other levels because our personalities just clicked.

You have been a huge support system to me.

You check in on me.

You let me say the things that I couldn’t say to anyone else.

You push me to step outside of my comfort zone, which helps me to grow.

You challenge my opinions and make me reconsider things, which helps me learn.

You listen to me and answer my calls, even when it’s one in the morning and I know you’re in bed by eight.

You truly care about not only me, but about Jayce.

My favorite memory of us is when you and Jayce came to visit, and I
FINALLY got to put my arms around you.

When I do anything with my Jayce, I am often filled with anxiety. It is something that many people don’t understand. Any little thing could be a trigger. Any moment there could be a meltdown. 

I am always anxious to take Parker to super crowded places, because I just never know how things will go. I was so excited for you to come because I knew that with you, it would be different.

The first time we took the boys out together, I saw you. You were scanning the room. You were full of anxiety. You were looking for triggers. You had a bag full of snacks and toys and treasures. You were ready for anything. You were just like me.

I know your journey has been far from easy, but I want you to know that I am proud of the woman you have become.

I know you have been through hell, but everything you fought has only made you stronger.

You are the best mom. You give it your all, day in and day out. No matter what.

You are the best mom. You will do whatever it takes to give your boy the best life.

You are a fierce advocate for your boy. You are his fighter. You are his person. You are his voice.

You push through the hard, even when you want to give up.

You inspire me to be a better mom.

You inspire me to be a better mom.

We fight for our boys the same way. We give them all that we have.

When I look at myself, I only see mistakes. I only see moments where I could have done better.

When I look at you, I feel hope for the future.

When I watch you, I only see strength. I only see a mom who loves her boy more than life itself.

I am so thankful to have a friend like you.

Thank you for loving my boy instantly, without question. Just as I love yours.

Thank you for being by my side, no matter what.

Thank you for seeing me.

Thank you for making me laugh, even when I want to cry.

Thank you for teaching me to see myself.

I can’t wait to see where this journey takes us, together.

Just two internet friends, turned real life besties.

Just a Blonde, a Brunette, & Autism.

Written by, Kendra King and Maykayla Hazelton

Kendra & Maykayla are internet strangers turned real life besties thanks to one very special connection! They are both Single Mamas of Special Needs Babies. People say that it takes a village to raise a child. Kendra & Maykayla say that is double true in the world of special needs. They invite you to come along on their journey, laugh with them, cry with them, drink with them (because lets be honest, they deserve it – and so do you.) Facebook: A Blonde, A Brunette & AutismWebsite: https://ablondeabrunetteandautism.wordpress.com/

Interested in writing for Finding Cooper’s Voice? LEARN MORE

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.

For more information on Coop’s Troops click HERE.

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Kate Swenson

Kate Swenson lives in Minnesota with her husband Jamie, and four children, Cooper, Sawyer, Harbor and Wynnie. Kate launched Finding Cooper's Voice from her couch while her now 11-year-old son Cooper was being diagnosed with autism. Back then it was a place to write. Today it is a living, thriving community of people who want to not only advocate for autism, but also make the world a better place for individuals with disabilities and their families. Her first book, Forever Boy, will be released, April 5, 2022.

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