Posts Tagged ‘special needs mother’
It Will Always Be You and Me
You and me Murph. We’ve been what each other need throughout this journey of Autism. On the good days we celebrate together. On the bad days we survive together. On the average days we manage to find something extraordinary together. On the days you slip away, I wait for you, and on the days when frustration and self doubt cause me to disappear, you manage to show me it’s going to be okay. You wait for me too, Murph and never think differently of me, even on my worst days.…
Read MoreDon’t Mistake My Kindness for Weakness
I’ve thought and thought on this subject. I’ve taken every inflection and word to heart. And, I simply don’t agree. I’ve been told on more than one occasion, “Why don’t you put down your phone and bleeping take care of your kids?!?” First of all, I am not anything like you! I do not have the luxury of going to get my nails done, or a facial every other week. I don’t get to go on weekend mini girls trips every once in a while for self care. I…
Read MoreThe Special Mother
Did you ever wonder how mothers of disabled children were chosen? Somehow I visualize God hovering over the earth selecting his instruments of propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger. “This one gets a daughter. The Patron saint will be Cecelia” “This one gets twins. The Patron saint will be Matthew” “This one gets a son. The Patron saint…..give her Gerard. He’s used to profanity” Finally He passes a name to an angel and smiles. “Give her…
Read MoreSpring Break in Minnesota
People who follow me make a lot of assumptions about our family and these boys. It’s interesting, funny, even upsetting to read them. People assume that Cooper, and ultimately autism, is a hardship. People assume the younger two are neglected because they see Cooper get attention in a 4 minute video. I could go on and on. We are on a spring break two night vacation. Because flying isn’t an option for us we went to northern Minnesota. The day before we left it was 65 degrees. The day we…
Read MoreThe World Deserves to Know Him
When we are out in public, I don’t worry about how my son will act. I don’t worry about his struggles or mannerisms. Or his uniqueness. Because I know exactly who he is and how he is going to behave. And that he is learning and growing. I know he will flap his arms in pure joy. I know he will run. And sit. And maybe feel the cool of the cement with his cheek. I know he will squeal. And hum. And laugh. I know he will wave to…
Read MoreCelebrating Autistic Women and Autism Mothers for Women’s History Month
Without the voices of strong autistic women in our community and the support of women like my mom, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I was recently contacted by an autism mom who told me about her 30-year-old autistic daughter who is about to have a baby. She said that she was proud of me for using my voice as a public speaker and self-advocate to spotlight others. If you are reading this, I don’t know why, but this instinctively made me think of Women’s History Month and…
Read MoreWhy Special Needs Mom’s Need to Find Their Tribe
I remember being in college and hanging out with friends all the time. You had your education friends, the friends you made during Freshman orientation. If someone was walking down the hall talking about Skyline Chili or LaRosa’s Pizza you’d hop in the car with them and go. Those were the good old days. The fun days. Then you get married and have kids and all of sudden your life is so unrecognizable and somehow during labor you forget how to make friends. It becomes this awkward thing. Where you…
Read MoreSometimes She Teaches Me
My five year old was having a summer pandemic playdate complete with masks and social distancing. It had been a while since we had actually seen other people in-person outside of our immediate family. She was beaming for the first time in six months and was so excited to actually be able to play with a friend. Unlike me, she wasn’t nervous. She didn’t care about the mask. She wasn’t worried about maintaining six feet of distance. She was just so happy to get a piece of normal back. My…
Read MoreWhat I Can Control
One of the best pieces of advice ever given to me came from a pediatrician when my third son was 7 days old. I sat in the exam room, dirty hair, bags under my eyes, nipples on fire, holding this beautiful, perfect bundle. And I told the doctor all of my fears. I was worried about my milk supply. My older autistic son adapting to his new brother. Signs of autism in my newborn. Not being a good enough mother to three very unique kids with very unique needs. Failing.…
Read MoreA Letter to the Struggling Autism Mama
I see you, and I feel your heartache. I understand that every single day is a back and forth balance of finding the joy and grieving the life you thought your child would have. Your days are now filled with therapy appointments, IEP meetings, arguments with insurance and sleep deprivation. You are now leading a team of educators and therapists that you didn’t sign up for, or ask to be a part of. But you know it has to be done. Own your seat at that table, you are important.…
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