Different, and Equal

Hi. My name is Carrie. We’ve never met, but I read the news report about what happened to you at school, when your paraprofessional used a stapler to attach a note to your hair. She said she wanted to send a reminder home to bring in a water bottle the next day. Right away, I want to tell you I am very, very sorry. Reading your story made my heart squeeze tight. I felt sick inside, to be honest.  I pictured you standing in your classroom, waiting for a drink…

Read More

Dear Boardman Board of Education, Which Kid Would Have Mattered to You?

Dear Boardman Board of Education, Which kid would have mattered to you? Which kid in your eyes would have made the staple to their head be classified as abuse? My fear is the incident in Boardman, Ohio is setting an example that abuse is only abuse when it happens to a certain kid. So, as a sibling to a brother with a disability, a parent of two boys, and a former special education teacher – I ask, which kid needs to have a note stapled to their head for it…

Read More

To the One I Can Always Count On

The one person who has been part of my life for the past 12 years is my husband.  The story goes like this…he was a small-town boy and I was a small-town girl.  We met at a small-town church. We knew each other way before we started officially dating.  He always had an eye for me, but I wasn’t quite so sure that I was interested at the time. Although, I quickly found out after I gave him a chance that he was the kindest person.  He would do anything…

Read More

Turn Your Worry Into Wonder

There is a term I like to use. It’s blissfully unaware. It’s a place and feeling rolled into one. Many of us do this at different times in our lives. We live blissfully unaware. For example, I knew nothing of the emotional pain of a miscarriage until I lost my first baby. I knew nothing of the worry that comes with a child that isn’t developing typically until it was my own son. I knew nothing of the cruelness and brutality of cancer until it took my stepmom. I knew…

Read More

We are Raising Him to be Proud of Who He Is

Every morning I wake up to messages from people. Most are well-meaning. Many are kind. A few are awful. Some are bizarre. And some, tell me how to raise my son. And how I’m doing it wrong. They tell me what I should be doing, how I can do it better, and what I can and cannot say about him. I’ve gathered a list of what I cannot say. I cannot say he has autism. Or is autistic. I can’t say he is nonverbal or nonspeaking. I can’t say he…

Read More

What I Need You To Know During Feeding Tube Awareness Week

I entered the world of special needs when my son was three months old.  He is a twin and his brother also has special needs, they were premature.  Lucas developed an airway disorder called Laryngomalacia when he was a few weeks old. When this happens, you can hear your baby breathing from across the room. They also can turn blue and stop breathing. They may also require oxygen and other life saving measures. It can be terrifying.  We figured out at 3 months from tests, that he was aspirating his…

Read More

My Son, You are Mine and I am Yours

To my Johnny, I can see it now; The chaos, the fear, the love, the moment you entered the world. It was 10:31pm and the room was full. Nurses and staff running about, Gad, Grammy and your Aunt cheering with joy, machines beeping and a baby crying. In a strangely unceremonious way you were laid down on my chest facing away from me, curled up in the only position you had ever known. I remember trying to ask if I could see your face and it going unheard. I felt…

Read More

To My Daughter’s Birth Mom

Always and in so many silly ways, we love you.  Through the remarkably challenging stuff and each heart warming moment, I think of you and I love you. In struggle and in triumph, her dad and I stick to the promises we made with you, six years ago today.  When Seeley notices her remarkable hair, she thanks you.  When she finds an eyelash and doesn’t want to wish for a pet jellyfish, she sometimes sends you her extra wishes.  When she catches a fall on her big biscuits, she screams…

Read More

A Love Letter to a Fellow Autism Mom

The love language for a special needs parent to feel seen, accepted, and understood is as simple as a head nod, and a “me too” on a zoom call or a quick chat on the phone. Or maybe even in the grocery store where your child is having a hard time.  If you’ve ever been that person for another special needs mom, you’ve changed their life, you’ve made them feel seen, and they thank you for it. Thank you for sharing your story of walking through the hard, so that…

Read More

You Don’t Have to Earn the Right to Inclusion

Will my daughter ever have a friend? Will other kids see how funny and smart she is even if she never speaks? Will they tease and ignore her? Will they be scared of her?  When she gets older, will she join a team or a club? Will she meet a kindred spirit who sees her for all that she is and what she can do, instead of who she isn’t and the things that she can’t? Most parents worry about their kids belonging at some point in their parenting journey,…

Read More